CSI QUOTE ARCHIVE: CATHERINE WILLOWS SEASON 1 QUOTES
1.01 Pilot
Catherine: “I can sit here and I can baby you and I can tell you to quit. But I’m not gonna do that. I really love my job. We’re just a bunch of kids that are getting paid to work on puzzles. Sometimes there’s a piece that’s missing. Sometimes we solve it in one night.”
Catherine: “Stick with it. At least until you solve your first. And if after that, you don’t feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But, if you stay, my hand to God, you will never regret it.”
1.02 Cool Change
Sara: “Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?”
Catherine: “She’s out in the field. Let me guess…Sara Sidle.”
Sara: “I know who I am. I think you’re a little confused.”
Catherine: “Maybe a little bling bling?”
Sara: “So what’s a bling bling?”
Catherine: “Got me!”
Catherine: “You didn’t have to come.”
Grissom: “I know. I wanted to. In case you need me.”
Catherine: “I probably do. But this is something I’d rather do alone.”
1.03 Crate and Burial
Sara: “What’s the rule? How long do I have to be here before I have to start kicking in for gifts?”
Catherine: “When the spirit moves you. Sara, so, in your case, I guess never.”
Catherine (to the team): What do I have to do put it on the bulletin board? There is no party, my daughter doesn’t want a party. Is everybody clear on that!”
Catherine: “I work 24/7. I have no time for my friends. My daughter rarely sees me having any fun… And all of a sudden, she doesn’t want a party.”
Grissom: “And that’s because of you.”
Catherine: “Yes, I am her mother. She mimics me.”
Grissom: “Well, then she’ll be fine. I mean, look at you.”
Catherine: ”When you want evidence, you can’t find it. When you don’t want it, it’s big as Dallas.”
Lindsey: “Are you going to get me one of those [scooters] for my birthday?”
Catherine: “Maybe when you’re older. Like forty.”
1.04 Pledging Mr. Johnson
Catherine: “I can tell you first-hand, when you don’t cheat, you don’t suspect.”
Brass: “Oh, man, I wish I’d been married to you.”
Catherine: “Not a chance.”
Coroner: “The leg was severed post mortem.”
Catherine: “Well that’s good news.”
Coroner: “How do you figure?”
Catherine: “Would you want to be alive when you leg was being cut off?”
Catherine: “When Eddie was cheating on me, I wish someone would have said something.”
Grissom: “You mean me?”
Catherine: “Who else?”
Catherine: “I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically-sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. No relationships, so no chance one will slop over into a case. Right. I want to be just like you.”
Grissom: “Technically, it’s a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you’re right. I’m deficient in a lot of ways, but I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.”
Catherine: “Grissom, what personal stuff?”
1.05 Friends and Lovers
Catherine: “The walls in his office look like the Dean went a couple rounds with Mike Tyson.”
Nick: “What did you find out?”
Catherine: ” Heavy on B.S. Zippo on truth.”
Nick: “You don’t seem too bummed out about it.”
Catherine: “Hell no, I’m stoked. We drew the best case Nicky. I can feel it”
Catherine: “Hey, Nick. Grissom’s not always right. Do yourself a favor. Think for yourself. I mean that as a friend, okay?”
Catherine (to Nick): “Wow, now there’s a look I like to see…confusion.”
1.06 Who Are You?
Catherine: “I saw some bruises. But Eddie’s style has always been very… involved. Vigorous.”
Grissom: “Vigorous?”
Warrick: “She’s trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.”
Catherine: “Thank you, Warrick.”
Detective Evans: “You dressed like that?”
Catherine: “If you want to call that dressed, yeah.”
Greg: “You used to work at the French Palace?”
Catherine: “That’s right”
Greg: “Maybe I saw you perform.”
Catherine: “Oh, I doubt it.”
Greg: “Why?”
Catherine: “You would have remembered.”
1.07 Blood Drops
Grissom: “Okay. You buy this cult thing?”
Catherine: “You mean the blood swirls next to the father’s body in the boys’ room? I studied pictures of the Manson murders. This isn’t butter. It’s imitation.”
1.08 Anonymous
Grissom: “Okay, we’re going off the board tonight.”
Sara: “Off the board?”
Catherine: “Ones that got away…fish”
Catherine: “What do you have to obtain to have piece of mind?… Justice.”
1.09 Unfriendly Skies
Catherine: “Sir, we realize this is an imposition, and we apologize for it. Nobody wants to see you on your way more than we do. We’ll make this as quick and painless as we possibly can.”
Warrick: “Nice snow job.”
Catherine: “More flies with honey.”
Grissom: “… I need their shoes.”
Catherine: “Why are you telling me?”
Grissom: “Because you’re the people person, right?”
Catherine: “Well, why don’t you tell them that. They’re not giving me bupkis.”
Catherine: “Okay people, listen up. Shoes. Off. Now.”
Grissom: “Catherine, the doctor, 3E.”
Catherine: “Single mother. What an imagination you have.”
Nick: “Catherine, you’re a mother. You and Lindsey are on that plane. How far do you go?”
Catherine: “All the way.”
Sara: “You didn’t even hesitate.”
Catherine: “That’s right. When it involves the protection of my child, I fight to the death.”
1.10 Sex, Lies and Larvae
Catherine: “Sorenson is a painting.”
Catherine(to Warrick): “How dumb are we?”
Catherine (to Nick, for making fun of their case): “Keep walking!”
1.11 I-15 Murders
Catherine: “You know how you’re always pushing that Holy Trinity stuff?”
Grissom: “Father, Son and Holy Ghost?”
Catherine: “Victim, suspect and crime scene.”
Catherine (to Grissom and Brass): “You two ladies done talking?”
Catherine (to Nick after he bumps into her): “Excuse you.”
1.12 Fahrenheit 932
Nick: “We get to rate the boss. I dig this.”
Catherine: “Give him a perfect ten or your ass is out of here.”
Catherine: “Wait a minute! Ecklie was the CSI on that arson. I see a bad moon rising.”
Warrick: “Can a CSI take over another CSI’s case?”
Catherine: “Only if they’re of equal rank. And they’re looking for trouble.”
Catherine: “Am I disturbing you?”
Grissom: “Yeah.”
Catherine: “Good.”
1.13 Boom
Ecklie: “The witness sounds believable.”
Catherine: “It’s a load of crap, and you know it.”
Catherine (to Nick after clearing his name): “Hey … hey, I’m just doing my job. Besides, if they sent you to jail, I’d get stuck with all your cases.”
Greg: “I would never doubt your word.”
Catherine: “Smart man.”
1.14 To Halve And To Hold
Catherine: “Well, it is a leg bone, and my guess is that it didn’t walk out here by itself.”
Catherine: “I feel it in every one of my 206 bones that this was a murder.”
Catherine (to Grissom): “I hope you had your Hepatitis B shot.”
Grissom: “It could be a piece of wrist bone.”
Catherine: “Well, do you want to suck it … to be sure?”
Catherine: “It takes a bad marriage to recognize a good one.”
Grissom: “It’s interesting to me how you always expect the worst.”
Catherine: “You see, that way I’m never disappointed, you know. And sometimes I’m nicely surprised.”
Catherine (to Grissom): “Are the bones whispering to you?”
1.15 Table Stakes
Catherine: “419 at the Sphere, glass elevator. You’re on it.”
Warrick: “This is a big case. I’m in a groove here.”
Catherine: “Well, groove on down to The Strip.”
Warrick: “Whatever happened to ‘you cross the tape, you go the distance’?”
Catherine: “I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.”
Catherine (to Grissom when he stares at a showgirl): “Close your mouth.”
Greg: “Did you ever wear one of these when you were dancing?”
Catherine: “I wore nothing but skin.”
1.16 Too Tough To Die
Catherine: “I called Eddie about the loan. I got his voicemail. The guy’s like ether.”
Catherine: “Let’s go see McCall. No one lost him.”
1.17 Face Lift
Catherine: “Robbery interruptious.”
Grissom: “I think our robbery suspect is a homicide victim.”
Catherine: “One way to beat the rap.”
Catherine: “Hey Doc, you have a comb?”
Nick: “Your hair looks great, Catherine.”
Catherine: “Gee thanks, Nick.”
Catherine: “Tammy Felton needs help. She may be a suspect, but she’s also a victim”
1.18 $35K O.B.O.
O’Reilly: “What are you doing here?”
Catherine: “I was assigned. This is my case.”
O’Reilly: “Case? The building collapsed. There’s nothing criminal here.”
Catherine: “Right. That’s why you were assigned — a homicide detective.”
Catherine: “And you’re not calling this a crime scene?”
O’Reilly: “Catherine, it’s a building.”
Catherine: “O’Reilly, it’s a suspect.”
Catherine: “Which district engineer conducted the last inspection?”
Paul Newsome: “There’s only one district engineer.”
Catherine: “Then it looks bad for you.”
Catherine: “Why is everybody asking me if I want to do my job?”
Catherine (to Paul Newsome): “Are you hiding something, or am I not worth your time?”
Catherine (as she is crawling through the house to the basement): “I feel like I’m crawling through a straw.”
Grissom: “An anobiid powder-post beetle. Very nice specimen.”
Catherine: “He likes you, too. Now, tell me about him.”
Grissom: “Forget the beetle; this damage was intentional. You’re looking for a Homo sapien.”
Catherine: “I know. Gives new meaning to ‘home wrecker.'”
Grissom: “Catherine, there’s a reason I assigned you this case. You’re good with people, both the dead and the living.”
Catherine: “Translation: We’re opening a political can of worms. The Mayor’s involved and elections are around the corner. You could’ve clued me in a little earlier”
Grissom: “Can I keep it?”
Catherine: “Sorry. It’s evidence.”
Grissom: “Don’t forget to feed him.”
Catherine: “I know– wood.”
Catherine: “Anything you want to say to me?”
Paul Newsome: “As a matter of fact, yes. Could’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble by not making me a suspect in the first place.”
Catherine: “You’re welcome.”
1.19 Gentle, Gentle
Brass: They moved here from Oregon two years ago.”
Catherine: “Bet they wish they didn’t today.”
Catherine: “A guy cheats, but the wife commits murder. How come the moms always end up the bad guy with you Freud types?”
Catherine (to Gwen Anderson): “You’re an average family burdened with a tragedy that puts you under a microscope. That close, nobody can look good.”
1.20 Sounds of Silence
Catherine: “You missed the deadline. No Chicago for me.”
Grissom: “Oh, Catherine …”
Catherine: “This is the one meeting I needed to attend. I don’t always want to be second banana. I can probably do your job. I know that I can do Ecklie’s.”
Grissom: “I forgot. I’m so sorry.”
Catherine: “Make sure to submit the paperwork by the end of the day.”
Grissom: “I thought you said that it was too late.”
Catherine: “Well, I knew you’d forget so I upped the deadline — gave you a buffer. Don’t forget again.”
Nick: “You really think Erin knew she was pregnant? I mean, six weeks?”
Catherine: “Twenty-year-old girl, living at home? She would have taken a test if she was five seconds late — panic city.”
Nick: “Yeah. Brass talked to her parents. There was no guy in her life.”
Catherine: “Well, it’s not immaculate conception. If the guy was Mr. Right she would have told her folks, which means he was Mr. Wrong. Maybe Mr. Married.”
1.21 Justice is Served
Catherine: “Pee now, and don’t tell me you’re shy.”
Catherine (to the suspect): “If you so much as breathed on this child, the evidence will tell me. You can dope your urine, change your name, compare yourself to Elvis himself, but if you harmed Sandy Dantini, I’m going to get you.”
Catherine: “You’re going to enter this as a homicide, right?”
Doc Robbins: “Technically, it’s somewhere between accidental and undetermined.”
Catherine: “It’s a homicide. I’m going to get your proof. So write down that ‘accidental’ in pencil.”
Suspect: “What, says you two string beans?”
Catherine: “It’s going to take a lot more than vegetable insults to get us to move.”
Catherine (to the suspect): “Oh, spare me the Hee Haw routine. You run this nightmare on wheels.”
1.22 Evaluation Day
Grissom: “I forgot.”
Catherine: “Well, maybe we should be evaluating you.”
Catherine (to Grissom): “I’ll meet you at the autopsy. ‘Head’-topsy.”
Doc Robbins (referring to music he’s listening to): “What do you think?”
Catherine: “It sucks! Hey, I just filed for divorce. I feel a little confident.”
Catherine: “Definitely a crime of passion.”
Grissom: “You think a female could do this?”
Catherine: “I could have.”
Grissom: “Scared of you.”
Nick: “You up for a riddle?”
Catherine: “Sure. Why not?”
Nick: “Okay, repeat after me: Silk, silk, silk.”
Catherine: “Silk, silk, silk.”
Nick: “What do cows drink?”
Catherine: “Water. Why?”
Nick: “Never mind.”
Grissom: “Okay, let’s get right to it. What’s your shoe size?”
Suspect: “Why?”
Catherine: “I have a shoe fetish. I love feet.”
Catherine (to girls driving stolen car): “Now there’s a start, Gross… Gross negligence. Flying down I15 in a stolen car. Gross anatomy, a human bowling ball in the trunk. Gross details, Let’s here it.”
1.23 Strip Strangler
Catherine: “It’s like deja vu all over again.”
Grissom: “Well, look for prints.”
Catherine: “Don’t bother. There aren’t any. Just like the last time. The guy’s Mr. Clean.”
(looking at the semen sample under the microscope)
Catherine: “So, what, this guy’s got some strange chemical in his mutated DNA?”
Greg: “Freaky, huh?”
Catherine: “Freakiest semen I’ve seen in a while.”
Grissom: “Ah, now the trees are gone, I can almost see the forest.”
Catherine: “Gil. Learn to be more politic.”
Grissom: “Did you come here to tell me about your new job?”
Catherine: “I told the Sheriff I’d pass.”
Grissom: “You don’t want to be a Supervisor?”
Catherine: “Well, if I get a promotion, I want it to be on merit… not because you’re politically tone-deaf.”
Catherine: “So, our guys are outside in their Tahoes. If you’re a civilian, we are. Except we are putting in for overtime.”
Catherine: “Never doubt, never look back. That’s how I live my life.”