CHINA BEACH QUOTE ARCHIVE: K.C. KOLOWSKI SEASON 2 QUOTES
2.01 and 2.02 Lost & Found, Parts 1 and 2
Lila: “I’m going to keep this as short and simple as I can.” (looks around KC’s place), “Where did you get all this?”
K.C.: “A little help from my friends…”
K.C.: “I’m not going anywhere. I live here.”
Lila: “If this place isn’t stripped clean in forty-eight hours, I’ll have it done and you marched under escort to Da Nang Air Field or the brig. Your choice.”
K.C.: “Never happen. You’ll leave before I do.”
K.C. (to the Colonel): “I don’t like surprises.”
K.C. (talking to Cherry about herself): “She wanted to escape America and got here and found it.”
McMurphy: I know we haven’t always gotten along, but I hate to see you go.”
K.C.: “On the other hand, who says I’m leaving?”
McMurphy: “Helicopter.”
K.C.: “I told him to take a hike.”
McMurphy: “Yeah but the…”
K.C.: Staying…I’ll find a way.”
McMurphy: “I’ll bet you do.”
K.C.: “Besides, who could leave all this?”
McMurphy: “I went to Natch’s room in Da Nang. His wife was there. I thought if I met her that I’d hate her. It’s like we had something in common.”
K.C.: “Yeah. The bastard between you.”
2.03 Limbo
K.C.: “All right, Boonie. What do you need? Goods or services?”
Boonie: “I need a professional.”
K.C. (laughs): “Glad you can finally admit it.”
Boonie: “You’ll do anything.”
K.C.: “That’s not true, and you know it. Well, you know, if you can’t handle the job, just let me know.”
Boonie: “Piece of cake. I’m flattered you asked me.”
K.C.: “I need an amateur.”
Boonie: “I’m your guy. Deal?”
K.C.: “Deal.”
Wayloo (talking about Dr. Richard): “I do love a man in a tropical shirt.”
K.C. (talking about Boonie): “I kind of prefer a man in a uniform. Well, half a uniform will do just fine.”
K.C: “Lila, your roots are showing.”
Lila: “Classification GS5, Civilian Secretary to the U.S. Army.”
K.C.: “And guess what? I don’t even type.”
Lila: “I’m sure he cared for you…in his own way.”
K.C.: “Oh yeah, sure he did. His way of caring…still makes me want to puke. I used to lie in bed at night hoping he forgot where my room was.”
K.C.: “I’m flattered you think I’m Queen Rat. The truth is…it’s a big war. A couple of boxes passed through my hands. They pass through yours too. How do you know your precious villagers didn’t give it to the bad guys?”
Boonie: “Because I trust those villagers.”
K.C.: “Lucky them.”
Boonie: “Are you saying you didn’t?”
K.C.: “I’m saying I don’t ask questions if I don’t want to know the answers, just like you do.”
Boonie: “Where do you draw the line, K.C.? Do you stop at aiding the enemy?”
K.C.: “I don’t see enemies – or friends. I see customers. We don’t discuss politics.”
Boonie: “So, you’d sell anything to anyone?”
K.C.: “You know…I’d never give anything to anyone…with strings attached.”
Boonie: “There weren’t strings attached.”
K.C. (yells): “Oh, the hell there weren’t!”
Boonie: “Forget it. I haven’t got the stomach for this.”
K.C.: “Well, you find the stomach. You find it quick because you came here. You came to me! You come here, ask for something, get it, find out it doesn’t make the world perfect and slam the door!”
Boonie: “It doesn’t have to be this way.”
K.C.: “It is this way.”
Boonie: “It doesn’t have to be this way.”
K.C.: “Prove it to me.”
K.C.: “You’re always wanting to know what goes on inside. Every time you get a good look, you head for the door.”
Boonie: “And you stop me. What’s the matter? Afraid to lose a customer?”
K.C.: “You weren’t a customer.”
Boonie: “What was I? Come on, K.C. This isn’t going to cost you anything. I’m not going to hold you to it. What was I? What am I?”
K.C.: “Everything I didn’t ask for and couldn’t stop.”
Boonie: “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
K.C.: “I grew up hearing that one.”
Boonie: “K.C., what’s this all about?”
K.C.: “It’s about survival.”
Boonie: “We could make it about a whole lot more. You know what? The only times I think about going back to the world…it’s with you.”
K.C.: “Back to the world?” (shakes head) “I booked one way.”
Boonie: “Well, wherever then.”
K.C.: “Not with me. You just don’t know when to give up, do you?”
Boonie: “Watch…” (starts to walk away)
K.C.: “Boonie!” (He leaves)
2.04 X-Mas Chnbch VN ’67
K.C. (to Hang after the fiasco with her hair): “Bet you’d look good in a crew cut.”
Hang: (says something in Vietnamese)
K.C.: Flat top?
2.05 Women In White
Wayloo: “Hey, this is important. I’m doing it for every grunt out there.”
K.C.: “You’re doing it for you.”
Wayloo: “I gave you $100.”
K.C.: “Yeah and I got you my best rates, but all good things must come to an end.”
Lila (to Wayloo): “What are you interviewing her for?”
K.C.: “What do you think? Are the boys going to like me or not?”
Camera Man: “Absolutely.”
2.06 All About E.E.V.
KC: “You know, Lila, I may not have been through the hundred years war like you have, but believe me, I’ve seen a million guys like him, and yes, it’s true, they all put their pants on one leg at a time.”
Edward: “You excited about the luau?”
KC: “I’ve been known to enjoy a good pig.”
Wayloo: “What do you think he was doing tonight?”
K.C.: “Maybe he got too attached to his pig.”
Wayloo: “Didn’t want to see it get eaten.”
2.07 Tet ’68
McMurphy: “Somebody’s shooting.”
K.C.: “That’s the trouble with this country. Somebody’s always shooting.”
McMurphy: “It’s degrading. It’s stupid.”
K.C.: “It’s the Army.”
K.C. (looking in mirror as she finishes her makeup): “Face that launched a thousand ships.”
K.C. (popping the cork on the champagne bottle): “Little guy just didn’t want to come.”
McMurphy: “What are you looking for?”
K.C.: “A cigarette. Haven’t you heard I’d walk a mile for a camel?”
K.C.: “Morphine’s better, but heroin’s easier to score. Candy’s dandy but liquor’s quicker.”
McMurphy: “You don’t know anything about me.”
K.C.: “I’ve known you all my life. You sang in the church choir, Colleen. You grew up in a nice little house covered in ivy, Colleen. Mom did all of her own baking, and Daddy didn’t pay enough attention to you because of all your brothers. How am I doing, Colleen?”
McMurphy: “This is a three scotch conversation. I’m only on my second.”
K.C.: “Pep club, Senior Play, Student Council…You’re the girl who never wanted to share a gym locker with trash like me.”
McMurphy: “You left out pom pom squad.”
K.C.: “You were a pom pom girl? I was a twirler.”
McMurphy: “You’re kidding.”
K.C.: “I couldn’t make it through Algebra Two, but I was hell on wheels in a pleated skirt and a baton.”
(McMurphy challenges K.C., and she does the infamous Push ‘Em Back Harder routine).
McMurphy: “Not bad.”
K.C.: “I didn’t wear much under that little skirt, but I can tell you this much. Nobody went out for a hot dog during halftime.”
K.C. “Just leave me alone. I have my reasons.”
McMurphy: “There are no reasons good enough.”
K.C.: “There are some kinds of pain, Colleen, that you can’t even imagine.”
2.08 Cherry
K.C.: “Dirty laundry, Lila. Everybody’s got it.”
K.C. (to Lila): “This place makes fools of us all.”
K.C.: “I just needed a pain killer.”
McMurphy: “Some time you’re going to have to talk about that pain.”
K.C.: “Where do you want to start? My father? Turner? You want to hear what Turner made his girls do? I know this trick.”
McMurphy: “There’s no trick.”
K.C.: “There’s always a trick.”
McMurphy: “All I can offer you is two aspirin and a bill for glass repair.”
K.C.: “Thanks for nothing.”
Boonie: “You gonna sober up first?”
K.C.: “Funerals are sober enough. I’ll be the comic relief.”
Lila: “I’m trying to keep you alive.”
K.C. (laughs): “Kids, if you believe in fairies, clap your hands or Tinkerbell buys the farm.”
Lila: “You’re leaving the day after tomorrow for Iowa.”
K.C.: “Guess again. I changed my mind. You got your wish, Lila. I guess it pays to believe in fairies.”
Lila: “You’re not going.”
K.C.: “A plus, Sherlock. I’ve made other arrangements.”
Lila: “Why?”
K.C.: “I remembered…I don’t do Iowa.”
Lila: “I don’t understand.”
K.C.: “Well, you said it yourself, and so has everybody else. I’m a cold hearted bitch.”
Beckett: “She looked up to you.” (referring to Cherry)
K.C. (laughs): “Optical illusion.”
K.C.: “He’s dead. Can I go now?”
K.C. (to Cherry’s brother): “You want this to mean something? Then get yourself together. Find out if you’re still human.”
2.09 Crossing The Great Water
K.C. does not appear in this episode.
2.10 Psywars
Boonie: “Welcome home!”
K.C.: “Now there’s a depressing thought.”
McMurphy: “How’s America’s bread basket?”
K.C.: “Oh beautiful, for spacious skies.”
McMurphy: “You all right?”
K.C.: “Yeah, sure. Aces, number one.”
K.C. (tossing McMurphy a baton as a souvenir): “Push ’em back harder.”
Psychiatrist: “I’m measuring stress levels in noncombatants.”
K.C.: “Well, you’d better find yourself another war because in this one, there’s no such thing as a noncombatant. Just people getting screwed up and killed in a screwed up war.”
Psychiatrist: “So, you don’t believe in it then?”
K.C.: “The people who believe in it get screwed up the most.”
Psychiatrist: “That’s a fascinating theory.”
K.C.: “All I know is what I see.”
Psychiatrist: “Mmmhmm. And uh, you must see…quite a bit.”
K.C.: “That turns you on, doesn’t it — like watching bugs under a microscope.”
Psychiatrist: “I wouldn’t say that.”
K.C.: “No, you wouldn’t say it. I’d be careful if I were you. Vietnam’s like a horror movie. The bugs under the microscope can eat you alive.”
Psychiatrist (watching McMurphy sitting up on the water tower): “well, I would climb up there, I really would, but I have vertigo…and agoraphobia.”
K.C.: “And no guts.”
K.C. (to McMurphy): “Everything I ever detested, all these people I thought knew nothing. These people that I had always hated…they let me say the things I never got to say to Cherry.”
McMurphy: “Why did they send you up?”
K.C.: “Volunteered.”
McMurphy: “You never volunteer.”
K.C.: “But I always pay what I owe.”
2.11 Where The Boys Are
Wayloo: “Help me out!”
K.C.: “Why?”
Wayloo: “You know him better than anybody.”
K.C.: “No one knows him.”
Wayloo: “See? You know that.”
K.C.: “Look, don’t go turn over any rocks. You might not like what you find underneath.”
Boonie (trying on a tuxedo): “This is funky!”
K.C.: “Looks like Ricky Ricardo’s sofa.”
K.C. (to Boonie, while they’re looking at prom dresses): “Which one should I wear to your court martial?”
Boonie: “I don’t know how to thank you.”
K.C.: “Yes, you do.”
Boonie: “You’re right. I do. Come with me to the prom, K.C. It could be the chance of a lifetime.”
K.C.: “Yeah…whose lifetime?”
K.C. (at the prom): “You suppose this is how Helen of Troy must have felt?”
2.12 Vets
No new scenes are in this episode.
2.13 Twilight
K.C.: “You look like one of those guys out of a prison movie, exercising in his cell.”
Boonie: “How did you get in?”
K.C.: “I can get in anywhere.”
K.C.: “We both know what happened out there.”
Boonie: “No, you don’t. Even you don’t know what happened.”
K.C.: “But I felt it. When you came back. Skinny, scared, just wanting someone to hold on to you…”
Boonie: “You took care of me.”
K.C.: “Every time you looked at me, every time we made love, I couldn’t stop feeling it. I still do. When I look at you, when I see that damned scar they gave you…”
Boonie: “Touch it, K.C.”
K.C.: “Boonie, you’re scaring me.”
Boonie: “Come on, touch it. See? It’s tougher. Skin’s healed. I’m not skinny anymore. I’m not scared.”
K.C.: “I am.”
Boonie: “I know. I feel it.”
2.14 Afterburner
K.C.: “You Kansas girls are kinky!”
McMurphy: “Saves on laundry bills.”
K.C.: “And so practical too.”
McMurphy: “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”
K.C.: “Oh yeah. That’s the best sensation I’ve had all day. I don’t even have boots on.”
K.C.: “Men…you’ve just got to let them roll off your back like water.”
McMurphy: “How do you manage that?”
K.C.: “When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
Boonie: “On the house. Sargeant says no hard feelings.”
K.C.: “No feelings, period.”
Boonie: “That’s the way you like it.”
K.C.: “The way you like it too, apparently.”
Boonie: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
K.C.: “I haven’t seen you.”
Boonie: “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”
K.C.: “Go ahead. It’s guaranteed to work.”
McMurphy: “Says who?”
K.C.: “Says the witch doctor, the guy who wrote the book!”
McMurphy: “What am I supposed to say?”
K.C.: “Any mumbo jumbo. You’ve just got to believe what you say. (laughs). All right, all right. Okay, I’m going to get serious now.”
McMurphy: “You go first.”
K.C.: “All right. I, K.C. Koloski, daughter of dark powers…Silence!…burn this shirt touched by him. I burn everything…and I burn his money.”
McMurphy: “Did it work?”
K.C.: “Like a charm. I feel completely different.”
McMurphy: “I burn this Kleenex and the tears on it.”
K.C.: “Whoa, heavy.”
McMurphy: “Now what?”
K.C.: “Blood of wild boar.”
McMurphy: “Eye of newt.”
K.C.: “Tongue of frog.”
McMurphy (spits in fire): “Venom of a sea serpent.” (K.C. spits too and they both laugh).
K.C.: “How do you feel?”
McMurphy: “Alone.”
K.C.: “Congratulations! It worked.”
McMurphy: “Falling in love, man. Never again.”
K.C.: “You mean we shouldn’t have included that irresistible love potion?”
McMurphy: “Bite your tongue, girl!”
K.C.: “Sorry. The next guy you meet…”
McMurphy: “Uh uh, no way…..What’s he like?” (they both laugh)
2.15 Promised Land
K.C. does not appear in this episode.
2.16 The World (I)
K.C. (to McMurphy): “I wanted my father dead from the time I was old enough to wear eye shadow. I used to wake up hoping he’d died during the night. But I miss him. Do you believe that? His voice…his laugh. I hate him, and I miss him anyway.”
McMurphy: “What’s this?”
K.C.: “Couple of extra bucks. You may have to grease some palms, buy some better medical attention or something.”
McMurphy: “I can’t accept it.”
K.C.: “I’m charging you interest.”
McMurphy: “Thanks.”
2.17 The World (II)
K.C. does not appear in this episode.