CHINA BEACH QUOTE ARCHIVE: K.C. KOLOWSKI SEASON 4 QUOTES
4.01 The Big Bang
K.C. (referring to her new bed, which Boonie has just delivered): “I don’t think it’s going to fit through the doorway.”
Boonie: “We’ll cut a hole.”
K.C.: “With what?”
Boonie: “We’ll just wait for the next artillery attack.”
K.C.: “But I don’t like to wait. I want my round, special, one and only Hugh Hefner KC bed in this place now!”
Boonie: “You know this is going to give me certain inalienable right to this thing.”
K.C.: “Shut up and push.”
Boonie: “In it, on it, around it, under it…”
K.C.: “You’re a good guy.”
Boonie: “Yeah, we’re friends.”
K.C.: “And you know damned well what friends are for, don’t you? Friends are the ones who know everything about you so they can hold it against you. And the ones who say they truly want nothing, then they want everything. The ones who give a little so they can take a lot. Friendships. All those lousy songs, all those lousy photos, all those lousy promises…”
Boonie: “Shut up!”
K.C.: “You shut up.” (Then they make out.)
K.C. (to Mac): “I’ll get by. I always have.”
Boonie (to K.C. during the bombing): “You’re sure you’re okay?” (To Mac, who is also there): “I’m just helping out around her new place and all. We’re friends.”
K.C.: “We’re lovers.”
Boonie: “We’re lovers.”
4.02 History Part II: She Sells More Than Seashells
Dr. Richard: “I didn’t know a woman in your line of work could be ticklish.”
K.C.: “I was faking.”
Dr. Richard: “Well, as far as advice…”
K.C.: “The last doctor who offered me advice said I’d never be able to have kids.”
Dr. Richard: “Maybe the father can help you out financially.”
K.C.: “Maybe I’ll go public and all the possible fathers can buy shares.”
Dr. Richard: “My concern is the health of the patient, both patients. So if you’re considering risky options at this late date…”
K.C.: “I consider all my options all the time.”
K.C.: “You can relax, Doc. Plan A includes the two of us. Me and It.”
Dr. Richard: “It?”
K.C.: “Yes, It. In here. The spilled milk. The crumbled cookie. The Martian guppy.”
Dr. Richard: “Way past the guppy stage.”
K.C.: “Oh right. Stage 2. When the pollywog sprouts arms and legs and turns into a full-fledged parasite.”
Mac: “What are you saying? You want to be some kind of shopkeeper?”
K.C.: “Yeah, I’m not bad at it.”
Mac: “Yeah, well, Beethoven wasn’t bad at bricklaying, but he knew where his natural talents laid.”
K.C.: “Oh, I’ve got a lot more talents than you’re aware of.”
Boonie: “Wait, wait! What are you doing now?”
K.C.: “Well, what do you want me to do? Lay here and incubate?”
Dr. Richard (referring to Boonie): “Plan B?”
K.C.: “Nah. What can you do with a guy like that? Those kinds of promises can’t be kept.”
Boonie: “I don’t care about any damned club. I care about you!”
K.C.: “It’s a dead end!”
K.C. (to Boonie): “I care. I care as much as I care. Enough to wish you the best, to have a happy life full of whatever matters to you. A backyard, a steady job, kids, grandkids, a warm kitchen, a water bed. Go get it. I won’t be there, but I’ll be getting a kick out of knowing that you are.”
K.C.: “I felt this flutter. It was this thing moving around down there and I just figured it changed things. It changes the pictures, you know. It’s another quarter, from another vote to count.”
Dr. Richard: “Quickening. Those first movements are called the quickening.”
K.C.: “What is this? A religion I’ve joined? All of this terminology calls up centuries of womankind squatting on paths. It’s such a turn off.”
Dr. Richard: “You’ll do fine.”
K.C.: “Oh, I’m not signing up as a lifer. I got drafted. I’m doing my tour and then I’m getting the hell out.”
Dr. Richard: “But you’ll have the baby?”
K.C.: “Yeah. Yeah. I would like to give this kid a chance to find out for itself how crummy a deal you really get.”
Dr. Richard: “I’m sure you’ll give him or her a perfect beginning to that journey.”
(Both laugh)
4.03 You, Babe
McMurphy (referring to K.C. dropping her soap): “Lose something?”
K.C.: “Years ago.”
K.C.: “What’s the matter? You never seen an outie?”
McMurphy: “What do you think you’re doing?”
K.C.: “I’m finding some decent parents to take this kid.”
McMurphy: “You’re using my name!”
K.C.: “Well, you’re not using it. Someone else may as well.”
McMurphy: “I am not going to forge Dr. Richard’s signature!”
K.C.: “You’re wearing the guy’s insignia. You stole his pass! What are a few lousy scribbles on a piece of paper?”
McMurphy: “It’s falsifying medical records. It’s illegal and unethical!”
K.C.: “And you’re just a little white liar!”
McMurphy: “That’s right! Now you really know me!”
K.C. (to McMurphy): “Oh and for your information, hemorrhoids are no laughing matter to a woman in her ninth month!”
MP: “That must be the weirdest. You really got something in the oven there, huh?”
K.C.: “No, the weirdest is that every creep who ever took Biology feels he can put his grubby hands all over your fat gut.”
K.C.: “Back stairs! Come on!”
McMurphy: “You are crazy! I thought you were just strange, but you are really crazy.”
K.C.: “Look, those guys are going to be back any second. I’m not the one in the Army with the fake papers, punching out MPs, so take back your precious wallet and stop acting like a baby!”
McMurphy: “How did you get my wallet back?”
K.C. (mocking her own words from earlier): “‘Oh please, help me. She hates me. She won’t help me!'”
K.C.: “C’mon, partner!”
McMurphy: “We’re not partners!”
K.C.: “Well, we’re partners for now. All alliances are temporary.”
McMurphy: “Just hold the wafer on your tongue.”
K.C.: “No kidding. I can’t ask for seconds?”
K.C.: “Whatever. The American Dream. The American Lie. Just call it whatever you want.”
McMurphy: “If you think that way, then why do you want it?”
K.C.: “Because. Because it’s the biggest lie, the brightest lie, the cleanest lie. I mean, why shouldn’t I want what’s best for my kid?”
McMurphy: “As long as you get the kid off your hands.”
K.C.: “Oh, you got that wrong. That is not true.”
McMurphy: “What was that word? True?”
K.C.: “I know what is true about me.”
McMurphy: “I’ll bet.”
K.C.: “I would raise this kid in a minute if I knew she was going to turn out better than me. You know why I picked your name? When I was in the first grade, there was a Colleen in my class. She had ringlets, no kidding. The kind of hairdo where someone’s really got to, you know, spend time on you. Where your mom is telling you to sit still, the Toni home perm job. Well anyway, that was the year that I was sent home with lice. Let’s get out of this place.”
McMurphy: “Yeah.”
K.C.:”Cherubs in hell. We just blend right in.”
KC (when her baby latches on to breastfeed for the first time): “Ow, it’s got a fang! Look, you little cannibal…”
K.C.: “Look, I know you think…we ought to be friends for life.”
McMurphy: “No. You think we can pretend to be strangers…after we’ve been through this incredible experience together.”
K.C.: “This baby was nothing but a problem, my problem. But it’s solved now and that’s all you need to know.”
McMurphy: “I know enough not to believe you. I saw you with her. I know something of what you’re feeling.”
K.C.:”Oh, you know nothing. I feel nothing.”
McMurphy: “I know you’re a liar.”
4.04 Escape
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.05 Fever
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.06 Juice
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.07 One Giant Leap
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.08 One Small Step
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.09 The Call
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.10 I Could Have Danced All Night…But Didn’t
McMurphy: “You believe in marriage?”
K.C.: “Yeah, I believe in marriage. It’s men I’m not so sure about.”
K.C.: “Experience has taught me that men are incapable of monogamy.”
Lila: “Not true! Look at nature. Swans! They mate for life.”
K.C.: “Yeah and they’re the meanest birds alive. I was attacked by a swan once.”
Lila: “I’ll try not to let that discourage me.”
K.C.: “Oh, what’s a wedding ring anyway. Just another shackle for women.”
McMurphy: “Like a bra.”
K.C.: “Mmhmm. A harness to tame women.”
Lila: “Sure beats looking like something out of National Geographic by 40.”
(Lila laughs as both K.C. and McMurphy look down at their chests.)
4.11 100 Klicks Out
Karen: “Ma told me my real mother is an American. I like Americans. I think my real mother is Jackie Kennedy or Barbara Stanwyck. Who would you think?”
K.C.: “Jackie is bowlegged and Stanwyck’s a bitch. I think we should play the quiet game.”
Karen (Talking in Vietnamese)
K.C.: “Brat.”
Karen: “I want my mother!”
K.C.: “I am your mother. Not Trieu Au, not Jackie Kennedy. Me!”
Karen: “I hate you!”
K.C.: “Get over it!”
K.C. (to Karen): “You gotta remember this, remember this alright. Boonie Lanier. Please remember this, Boonie, Boonie Lanier. Tell them to take you to Boonie Lanier.”
K.C. (to soldier in helicopter): “Please take her. Please take her. Please, please take her!”
K.C. (to Karen): “I love you, baby. You’ll be okay.”
4.12 The Always Goodbye
K.C.: “Hey McMurphy, great to see you. Now what are you doing here?”
McMurphy: “Bangkok is a lot more expensive than I thought.”
K.C.: “It’s one of the cheapest towns this side of Des Moine.”
McMurphy: “Yeah, but we’ve been eating a lot, drinking a lot. I’m actually pretty stuffed.”
K.C.: “Stuffed and broke.”
McMurphy: “Something like that.
K.C.: “Need a place to stay?”
McMurphy: “Something like that.”
K.C.: “You owe me.”
McMurphy: “You owe me.”
KC(on the phone): “Ten thousand is ten thousand short.”
McMurphy: “Subsal?’
Loretta: “She cannot pronounce my name”
K.C.: “Yeah, well none of us can.”
Loretta: “That’s why they call me Loretta.”
McMurphy: “Loretta is helping.”
K.C.: “Well, what are neighbors for?”
McMurphy: “All the nurses kept telling me, R & R, get dressed up, a night on the town.”
K.C.: “All the things you never did at China Beach.”
McMurphy: “All the things I never cared about.”
K.C.: “Now you do?”
McMurphy: “Must be Bangkok.”
K.C.: “Or the booze.”
McMurphy: “Hey, I used to drink you under the table eight days a week.”
K.C.: “You’re forgetting the rules, Tucker. You want to go legit, give me a call.”
Tucker: “I thought you liked working with me.”
K.C.: “I worked for you.”
Tucker: “I thought you liked being with me.”
K.C.: “I’m nobody’s hooker.”
McMurphy: “Where’s Maltbie?”
K.C.: “Maltbie is next door losing his virginity with Loretta.”
McMurphy: “Oh God, I feel old.”
K.C.: “Oh, you’re not old. You’re just near death.”
K.C.: “Love, sex, men, death. It’s all the same.”
McMurphy: “Is that what you think?”
K.C.: “Men. Love is a word that comes out of their mouth. Sex is what’s dripping off the rest off them.”
McMurphy: “I went shopping. I got some books for Karen.”
K.C.: “It’s too late. She’s gone”
McMurphy: “Where?”
K.C.: “I don’t know. Saigon probably.”
McMurphy: “You sent them back? Trieu Au took her back?”
K.C.: “I think she’s got family there.”
McMurphy: “Karen is your family.”
K.C.: “She’s two years old. What does she know? Kids forget everything at that age anyway.”
McMurphy: “So you’re just gonna forget everything?”
K.C.: “It was a fantasy, McMurphy. I’ll leave that kind of stuff to Maltbie and Loretta.”
McMurphy: “You love her.”
K.C.: “Well, love does not have anything to do with it.”
KC (to Tucker): “So, would I be lying on my back just for you or would you loan me out every now and then?”
4.13 Quest
K.C. (to McMurphy): “I love jail – the fine food, the ambiance, the bidet.”
K.C. (to McMurphy): “Bangkok jail — 15 hour flight — 36 hours detained — what’s your excuse?”
K.C.: “You owe me a bath, a dress and eighty-four fifths of bourbon.”
McMurphy: “What were you arrested for?”
K.C.: “What difference does it make? I got out. Free ticket home sweet home. Here I am stuck in the Department of Immigration. Do not pass go.”
K.C.: “Wait. Where are you going?”
McMurphy: “Somebody’s got to talk to somebody. Did you lie about anything?”
K.C.: “Yes. My weight.”
K.C.: “Well?”
McMurphy: “What did you do?”
K.C.: “What did they say? Am I gonna get out of here? Is it gonna be okay?
McMurphy: “You’re out of here.”
K.C.: “How?”
McMurphy: “They take American Express.”
K.C.: “You bribed them?”
McMurphy: “No, I KC’ed them.”
K.C.: “What do I owe you?”
McMurphy: “A ‘thank you’ will do”
K.C.: “I’ll pay you back.”
McMurphy: “Nobody asked.”
K.C.: “Within one year, I’ll pay you back.”
McMurphy: “You’re broke.”
K.C.: “Totally. Brother, can you spare a dime?”
K.C.: “Fall of Saigon. Fall of K.C.”
K.C.: “I got Karen out. She didn’t want to go. She wanted her own way. Kicked up a big fuss. Brat.”
McMurphy: “Tell me, K.C. from K.C.”
K.C.: “Tell you what?”
McMurphy: “I didn’t need to be here. You would have figured a way out. I’ll go with you to see Karen.”
K.C.: “I can’t go see her.”
McMurphy : “I think that’s why you called me. You knew I’d make you go see her.”
K.C.: “I think you’re so wrong.”
McMurphy: “I think you fight me where there’s no fight to fight.”
K.C.: “Well I saw her…Karen. She’s got her school, her best friend. She has Boonie. What more could a mother want?”
McMurphy: “What will you do?”
K.C.: “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Do and try to get it right this time. Whatever that is. What about you? You still got your dreams and wishes?”
McMurphy: “Oh no, I gave those up.”
K.C.: “There’s got to be an answer out there somewhere.”
McMuprhy: “I don’t know. I thought I could save the world. Hell, that was easy.”
K.C.: “Saving yourself?”
McMurphy: “Not so easy”
K.C.: “Maybe we’re different. Maybe we’re just lucky. Nothing left to believe in.”
4.14 Rewind
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.15 Through And Through
K.C. does not appear in this episode
4.16 Hello Goodbye (1)
K.C. only appears in flashbacks in this episode
4.17 Hello Goodbye (2)
K.C.: “You know I’d love to spend a couple hours strolling down memory lane with you, but I’m on a tight schedule. I’ve got a plane to catch so… did you need something? Money?”
Boonie: “I forgot, K.C. from K.C. No, I don’t need anything from you. I haven’t for a while.”
Boonie: “We had a reunion. McMurphy told me you were invited.”
K.C.: “I couldn’t find my hip huggers and white beads.”
Boonie: “Karen came. She’s twenty years old. She’s her own person. She’s smart, tough and you’d like her a lot.”
K.C.: “Yeah, well thanks for the update.”
K.C.: (referring to Karen) “She was better off with you.”
Boonie: “I love her, and I’m glad you sent her.”
K.C.: “What?”
Karen: “Your hair. I remember it. The color.”
K.C.: “Well, I dye it now.”
K.C.: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Karen: “Do you?”
K.C.: “No. What’s your boyfriend’s name?”
Karen: “Can you stay?…His name is Jeffrey.”
K.C.: “Jeffrey. That’s a nice college educated name.”
Karen: “He’s a musician. Boonie doesn’t like him.”
K.C.: “What did you expect?”
Karen: “I’m not a kid. I can love who I choose.”
K.C.: “What did you expect of me?”
Karen: “I thought maybe we’d exchange Christmas cards.”
K.C. (laughs): “Yeah, I guess that’s a start.”
Karen: “Did you get what you wanted?”
K.C.: “Most of it… You?”
Karen: “Most of it.”
K.C.: “I guess we’re even.”
K.C. (hugging Karen): “I’m not very good at writing letters.”