CSI QUOTE ARCHIVE: CATHERINE WILLOWS SEASON 10 QUOTES
10.01 Family Affair
Catherine: “That’s quite the ghoulish hobby you got there, Doc.”
Doc Robbins: “I’m quite the ghoul.”
Catherine: “Mr and Mrs. Decomp?”
10.02 Ghost Town
Ray: “This is very difficult. It’s like attempting to tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue.”
Catherine: “I can do that, after a few drinks.”
Catherine: “I’d have a heart attack too if someone did that to me”
10.03 Working Stiffs
Doc Robbins: “Having a chip surgically implanted in your body is so much more convenient than putting a credit card in your pocket.”
Catherine: “Not everything I wear out has pockets.”
Doc Robbins: “I’ll buy you a purse.”
10.04 Coup de Grace
Officer Grayson: “Can we do this a little later?”
Catherine: “An officer lost his life last night. We owe it to him to get past ourselves and do what we have to do. You want to pound nails in you head, do it tomorrow.”
10.05 Bloodsport
Catherine (about football): “I just like to watch the guys hit each other. And I like their butts.”
10.06 Death and the Maiden
Catherine: “Found some semen here. Hooker Alley. Think I would have found more…”
10.07 The Lost Girls
Catherine (referring to the souvenirs Ray sent them): “I was hoping for a little sumthin’ sumthin’ from Bergdorf’s.”
10.08 Lover’s Lanes
Catherine (to suspect who is smoking weed): “Hey Cheech!”
Catherine: “This is THE hot designer bag of the moment. Every woman, including me, wants one.”
10.09 Appendicitement
Henry: “Good night, Catherine. Thank you for the time off.”
Catherine: “Go, before I change my mind.”
Catherine (to Super Dave when she’s ready for him to pull the body out of the tub): “David, anchors away.”
10.10 Better Off Dead
Sara: “So…what’s going on with you and Vartann?”
Catherine gives her a ‘deer in the headlights’ look
Sara: “I am a trained observer, you know.”
(Catherine looks away and laughs.)
Sara: “Okay, I see it’s still in its early investigative stages.”
Catherine: “No comment.”
Greg (holding up a stuffed animal): “I mean, is this what women really want?”
Catherine (laughs): “It’s what men think women want. Like candy…it’s sweet and hard to resist, but sooner or later, we just want some meat and potatoes.”
Catherine: “Now I just want a man I can count on.”
10.11 Sin City Blue
Catherine (to Greg): “Smurf’s up!”
Catherine (to Greg): “Well, that’s like looking for a needle inside of a stack of needles.”
10.12 Long Ball
Catherine (to Hodges): “See what you can accomplish when your pride is on the line.”
Hodges: “You make me sound so ineffectual!”
Catherine: “It’s the secret to good leadership.”
Catherine: “That’s a lot of technology for smackin’ golf balls.”
Nick: “Some people take it seriously.”
10 x 13: Internal Combustion
Catherine (To Archie): “You don’t look nearly busy enough.”
Catherine: “When you’re young, you think you are immortal and when you’re old, you just want to remember how that felt.”
10 x 14: Unshockable
Jay DeMarcus: “You’re gorgeous.”
Catherine: “And you’re married.”
10 x 15: Neverland
Hodges: “You know, I read something a while back. Said that the distance from home that the average parent would allow their 9 year old to wander had shrunk to a tenth of what it was when I was a kid.”
Catherine: “World’s a scarier place, that’s for sure”
10 x 16: The Panty Sniffer
Vartann (After pulling Catherine in for a kiss): “Sorry, close call.”
Catherine: “Yeah, too close.”
Catherine: “I don’t believe this. We have a 419 down at the loading dock.”
Vartann: “We can’t have a big police presence here. I’ll call it in.”
Catherine: “The last thing we need tonight is a crime scene.”
Nick: “How’s the stakeout going?”
Catherine: “So far it’s like watching bad porn.”
Vartann: “How long does it take to make Ecstasy?”
Catherine: “Well, let’s see. We could go shoot some craps, play a little blackjack, have a long lunch, go shopping. Or you could take me to the new Cirque, maybe dinner and they’d be about halfway done.”
Vartann: “Wow, you’re not a cheap date.”
Catherine: “Not anymore, no.”
Catherine(to Vartann): “You’re not suited up, Lou. Stay in the living room.”
10 x 17: Irradiator
Catherine(to Hodges): “Why did I receive seventeen pages of federal forms to fill out with your name on it?”
Catherine: “Well done, David Hodges.”
Hodges: “And you can tell Homeland Security that the quantity of radioactive material is infinitesimal and poses no threat.”
Catherine: “Oh, you can tell them.”
Catherine: “Hang on a second. If the radiation source is infinitesimal, why are you wearing three lead aprons?”
Hodges: “Despite my aversion to children…sperm count.”
10 x 18: Field Mice
Catherine: “Henry, I don’t mind taking time out of my day to check our your radiator hose, because clearly it means a lot to you. But you need to back off. You are ripe.”
Catherine: “I’ll tell you one thing this is not defective. Those holes are straight and uniform which suggests they were mechanically introduced from the outside in.”
Henry: “Somebody poked my hose?”
Catherine: “Sure, you could have a shady mechanic. But as far as car sabotage goes, this is amateur hour. I mean, you really want to do some damage, you pop out a spark plug and throw rocks into the cylinder. Radiator hoses? Third grade stuff. You been pissing off a lot of third graders lately?”
Catherine; “Alright, Hodges. Henry tells me you reprogrammed the GCMS.”
Henry: “And glued my face to my locker and poked my hose.”
Catherine: “Whatever.”
Catherine (to Henry): “You got your confession. Happy?”
Catherine (to Henry): “Nobody likes a snitch.”
10 x 19: World’s End
David: “I think I bumped into every piece of dog poop and used condom in the city of Las Vegas.”
Catherine: “Oh David, suck it up.”
Lindsey: “Mom, what’s going on? Ian couldn’t have had anything to do with Sean’s death.”
Catherine: “Linds…”
Lindsey: “I know Ian.”
Catherine: “Are you giving me information or your opinion? This is business. Stay out of it.”
10 x 20: Take My Life Please
Catherine: “Human swiss cheese.”
Catherine: “If holey man was shot here we’d have more evidence of it.”
Catherine(to victims wife): “We prefer to find our suspects alive.”
Catherine (to suspect): “No, I think you did something to the scumbag. He was murdered. He was shot so many times you could see through him.”
10 x 21: Lost and Found
Catherine: “If Janet Marsh was in possession of the murder weapon, that makes her the only suspect.”
Nick: “Wait a minute, I’ve met the woman. It’s very tough to fake grief like that.”
Catherine: “Well, guilt can masquerade as grief. There’s a lot of people who express remorse after committing a homicide. If this was the father that we were talking about and not the mother, what would we be thinking then?”
Greg: “Lock him up.”
Ray: “Janet told Nick she was having hallucinations about her dead son. It sounds like she was experiencing some kind of dis-associative episode. Her personality splintered because of the guilt. This is why she wanders the highway at night. She’s being tormented by her own conscience.”
Catherine: “Or she’s a cold blooded murderer that’s still playing out her diversion to keep the suspicion away.”
10 x 22: Doctor Who
Catherine (to Ray): “The Lone Ranger returns.”
Catherine: “You’re not going to your crime scene anymore. You’re going home.”
Ray: “You’re suspending me?”
Catherine: “No, I’m diagnosing you. You’ve got the Whatever virus. Take a sick day.”
Nick: “The palm print on the tool box is Vince’s, but the one on Heidi’s steering wheel is definitely not.”
Catherine: “Well, that’s consistent with the goofball’s story.”
10 x 23: Meat Jekyll
Brass: “What’s going on? You’re bringing in a high risk psychopath into my department and you don’t even bother to call me? Were you two going to fly this over my head?”
Catherine: “Haskell reached out from prison. Said he had something to offer on the Doctor Jekyll case.
Ray: “The man called me.”
Brass: “Yeah, and he hung up on you. Why didn’t you just call him back? You didn’t need to send a limo for him like Paul freaking McCartney. The last time we gave him a stage somebody got killed.”
Catherine: “This was my decision, Jim. I called the Governor, and the Governor cleared it through the sheriff.”
Brass: “All friends of Daddy. You know, it’s amazing, but Sam Braun has more clout dead than most of us alive.”
Catherine: “My team is working a serial killer case. We’ve got zippo leads and the bodies are piling up.”
Brass: “What do you think I’m doing? Writing parking tickets? Hey, last time I checked, CSI worked for me.”
Ray: “And what have you been doing lately on the case, Jim?” You develop any better leads?”
Brass: “Are you saying I’m not doing my job?”
Catherine: “We’re all doing our jobs, and if Nate Haskell knows anything, we should hear what he has to say. If he starts screwing with us, we’ll just ship him back and weld his cage shut.”
Vartann: “A monster like Haskell kills nineteen people. See him up close and personal, he looks just like everybody else. You got a lot of guts bringing him down here. But that’s what I like about you. Now I know why you got up so early this morning.”
Catherine: “I wish I had stayed in bed.”
Vartann: “Me too.”
Catherine (to Brass): “Nice bad cop routine.”
Catherine: “Joey Bigelow may have been playing gigs back then so there could be tax returns. Pay stubs.”
Ray: “Joey had an agent. His name was Marty Felnick.”
Catherine: “I know Marty. I sat on his lap a few times back in the day.”
Greg: “When you were a little girl?”
Catherine: “No. When I was a big girl.”
Marty Felnick: “Sweetheart, You are very familiar. We knew each other or something.”
Catherine: “I bet you say that to all the cops.”
Ray: “Looks like Haskell was telling the truth.”
Catherine: “I’d like to be the one to tell Brass.”
Catherine: “Uncle Elroy? He’s dead?”
Nick: “Looks like homemade beef jerky.”
Catherine: “Or homemade people jerky.”
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