CSI QUOTE ARCHIVE: CATHERINE WILLOWS SEASON 3 QUOTES
3.01 Revenge Is Best Served Cold
Nick: “Midnight drags. My brother was a gearhead. Rebuilt a ’65 GTO with three carbs. Ran the thing flat out. Zero to a buck-13 in a quarter mile.”
Catherine: “So your brother’s cooler than you?”
Nick: “No. No, not really.”
Catherine: “More power. no extra weight. Every girl’s dream.”
Nick: “Hey, wait! Hang on, Cath. Give me a test fire, will you?”
Catherine: “Love to.”
Nick: “I wired the target to the car’s alarm system. Gotta make sure we hear it.”
Catherine: “Always thinking there, Nicky, aren’t ya?”
Nick: “Okay, remember full out the fifth, then hit the nitrous and hang on.”
Catherine: “You just try to keep up.”
3.02 The Accused Is Entitled
Lawyer: “You took your clothes off for a living?”
Catherine: “For a VERY good living.”
Catherine: “Marjorie’s requesting copies of CSI proficiency test records.
Grissom: “So relax. If any of us had failed the yearly proficiency we wouldn’t be here.”
Catherine: “You completely forget, don’t you? My test is on appeal.”
Grissom: “Oh. Right.”
Catherine: “They’re just trying to rattle me.”
Grissom: “Is it working?”
Catherine: “Maybe I should just take a page out of your book. If I don’t collect or analyze anything, I don’t have to testify. Of course, it helps to be boss. Very Politic. Ecklie must be rubbing off on you.”
Catherine: “Grissom, They’re beating our heads in. Judge is gonna dismiss, you can feel it.”
Grissom: “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
Catherine: “I’m not ahead of myself. I’m up there front and center taking hits along with the rest of CSI. You know, you’ve turned into a lousy leader. I need your help and you’re on the sidelines.”
3.03 Let the Seller Beware
(watching a girl undress in some video footage they’re analyzing)
Nick: “BLAM!”
Archie: “You can say THAT again.”
Nick: “BLAM!”
Catherine: “Down boys.”
3.04 A Little Murder
Catherine (when attacked at the scene): “Suspect on location! Suspect on location!”
Catherine: “Don’t touch me, I’m evidence.”
3.05 Abra Cadaver
Catherine: “What’s the name of the band again?”
Nick: “Pekinpah. Back in ’93, first album was a moderate hit. Don’t you remember that song? It was pretty popular– uh…‘Symphony of Epiphanies’?”
Cath & Nick both sing: “Na, na, na, na, na, na. Come here, come here… ”
Catherine: “Yeah, that was good to dance to.”
3.06 The Execution Of Catherine Willows
Greg: “I hear you’re cheating on me with an out-of-state DNA analyst.”
Catherine: “Apples and oranges, Greg. Fifteen year-old hair samples, no roots, room temperature storage. Face it, Greg. You just don’t have the equipment.”
Catherine (to defense attorney): “Miss Campbell, I am only an interpreter of the evidence. I know how to make the evidence speak to me. I don’t care about the outcome.”
3.07 Fight Night
Catherine: “Jerome is under the misguided impression that he’s a one man pyrotechnics display.”
Catherine: “As far as he’s concerned, murder is just another way to separate himself from the Calvins and Ralphs of the world.”
Grissom: “Calvin and Ralph?”
Catherine: “Klein and Lauren. Fashion.”
Grissom: “Oh. Well, for most CSIs, fashion is irrelevant.”
Catherine: “Speak for yourself. The only thing standing between me and this wardrobe is a couple of extra zeros on my paycheck.”
3.08 Snuff
Catherine: “Only difference between kitsch and beautiful is time.”
Catherine: “You should try scalp conditioner.”
Security guard: “Why?”
Catherine: “Your dandruff… Oh, my bad, Primer.”
Catherine: “Bins of sin.”
3.09 Blood Lust
Sara: “Thought you had a couple days off?”
Catherine: “I do, but I left these on my desk. I’m on my way to Circus Circus with 5 nine year olds. It’s Lindsey’s birthday. I gotta wrap a Bridal Barbie.”
Sara: “What’s a Bridal Barbie?”
Catherine: “Funny.”
3.10 High and Low
Catherine (to suspect): “I’m starting to like you, Ned, and not in a good way.”
Catherine: “Hey Greggy, any luck with those blood and hair samples?”
Greg: “Don’t insult me. Luck is for those without skill.”
Catherine: “Spoken like a man who’s never hit a jackpot.”
Bobby: “I know this gun. Idiot big and shiny.”
Catherine: “Right. Well, you know some men feel the need to compensate.”
Catherine: “You need a cannon to fire a hunk of lead this big.”
Catherine: “Hate thy neighbor.”
Catherine: “A man’s life, for a dog’s life, for a mulberry tree”
3.11 Recipe For Murder
Catherine: “Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”
Catherine: “People always think the show is out front. It wasn’t till I waitressed that I realized it’s all in the back.”
Catherine: “Blood, Coke and Semen. These people were doing everything in this kitchen but cook.”
Catherine (to Hostess): “I have a table for you, A five top. All by yourself, by the window. Someone will be with you shortly.”
3.12 Got Murder?
Catherine (to Grissom): “We’re up a tree and you’re quoting Poe? Give me something.”
Catherine (to Doc Robbins): “Got anything on our lady of the dump?”
Sara: “Can’s on private property, it’s not trash day. How did you get consent?”
Catherine: “I talked to the President of the owner’s association.”
Nick: “What did you threaten her with?”
Catherine: “A return visit.”
3.13 Random Acts of Violence
(Catherine does not appear in this episode)
3.14 One Hit Wonder
Catherine: “Greg, you get anywhere with the semen I recovered from Joanne Cook’s hair? I sent it back with an officer.”
Greg: “Low volume, no sperm.”
Catherine: “That’s impossible.”
Greg: “I knew you’d say that.
Catherine: “Oh. The trailer before the movie.”
Catherine: “Oh, hey Grissom, thanks for the lift.”
Jackie: “This guy was really pressing hard on that window.”
Catherine: “Well, with one hand anyway.”
Catherine(to suspect): “What? You can’t peep on apartments during the day so you come to the mall to sneak some thrills?”
Brass: “Justin Lamont. Sexually motivated offense, indecent exposure, gross lewdness. Lets go to booking.”
Catherine: “Try to keep it on ice.”
Suspect: “I was looking for an apartment. I just got a raise and I need more space.”
Catherine: “So you decide to start your search in the dead of night when there’s a rapist on the loose.”
Suspect: “I work days. It was in the classifieds. Besides, what’s he gonna do to me?”
Catherine: “Well, Wendy did okay.” (referring to the woman who caught him)
3.15 Lady Heather’s Box
Catherine: “You’re late, Eddie.”
Eddie: “Don’t start.”
Catherine: “You know how much this meant to Lindsey.”
Eddie: “Can we talk about this later?”
Catherin: “Nice perfume.”
Catherine (to suspect Sara was questioning): “You even think about my daughter again and I’ll kill you. I will kill you. I will hunt you down and put you in the ground. I will put you in the ground!”
Catherine(to victim’s husband): “If it was my spouse, I would have touched the body.”
Catherine: “So, you’re calling it?”
Sara: “I’ve got two liars and no murder weapon and no choice. I’m gonna nail the singer on child endangerment and fleeing the scene, and the dealer goes up on possession for sale.”
Catherine: “What a great bedtime story for my little girl.”
Sara: “Cat, I did my best.”
Nick: “No pain, no gain. Purge fluid.”
Catherine: “DUNS.”
Nick: “‘Dead Upstairs Neighbor Syndrome’. Gonna take us a while to get this smell out of our nose hairs.”
Catherine: “Parchment changes at the skin. So what’s the exposure of that window? South?”
Nick: “East. Gets direct sunlight half the day. I learned that down in Lauderdale. You know, you gotta remember to turn.”
Catherine: “Right. All that Spring Break activity with your frat brothers.”
Sara: “Drugs?”
Catherine: “Knowing Eddie’s taste in women, I’d say that’s a good bet.”
3.16 Lucky Strike
Warrick: “I like coming in the back way.”
Catherine: “Yeah, it makes us VIPs tonight.”
Doc Robbins: “Did you find rope at the scene?”
Catherine: “We haven’t found the scene.”
Catherine: “Miss Willis, is Tramelle your only child?”
Bridget Willis: “No I have a little girl.”
Brass: “Why wasn’t she with Tavian’s other kids at the carnival?”
Bridget Willis: “She wasn’t invited. So, instead, I took her to Sweet Creatures.”
Catherine: “Oh yes, I’ve been there. Works wonders on the disappointment of little girls.”
Catherine: “So Tavian was paying Bridget child support. Three grand a month.”
Warrick: “Three grand a month? Tavian Tombs has been a twelve million dollar a year player for eight seasons.”
Catherine: “Well, he made his deal with Bridget when Tramelle was born. Bad timing for her.”
Warrick: “Motive for us.”
3.17 Crash and Burn
Catherine: “Some happy hour.”
Grissom: “I think happy hour is over.”
Sara: “An old Jaguar with a GPS unit. Strange.”
Catherine: “Yeah, not your granny’s Oldsmobile.”
Catherine (to Sara): “Do you wanna get a beer?”
3.18 Precious Metal
(The suspect shows Catherine a picture of a guy)
Suspect: “I have THIS guy keeping me at home.”
Catherine Willows: “Ahhh, did you get that picture from your wallet? I mean, when you bought it?”
Catherine: “Look available, be unobtainable.”
3.19 A Night At The Movies
Catherine: “Theaters are like nightclubs. They should always keep the lights off.”
Catherine (to Grissom and Doc Robbins): “Mr. Siskel , Mr. Ebert, may I have cause of death, please?”
Catherine: “What did I miss?”
Grissom: “Murder, seduction, deceit. The usual.”
Catherine: “Mmm. This one of your favorites?”
Grissom: “Actually, I’m not a big fan of noir.”
Catherine: “Okay… Well, what do you like?”
Grissom: “I like silent movies.”
3.20 Last Laugh
Catherine (to Grissom): “You cannot absorb enough cocaine through your penis.”
Catherine (to Grissom): “You cannot ingest enough spam on your penis to overdose and if you ask me to cite my source…”
3.21 Forever
Nick: “Looks like someone stepped in horse crap. And what was the vic wearing?”
Catherine: “Work boots, I think.”
Nick: “That’s a funky print.”
Catherine: “Oh … a J.P. Tod’s driving loafer.”
Nick: “Hmm?”
Catherine: “I may shop the outlets, but I read Vogue.”
3.22 Play With Fire
Catherine: “Because there’s 24 hours in the day and I’m pulling 16 for the county, spending three pretending to sleep and the other five lying to my daughter that everything’s going to be all right.”
3.23 Inside The Box
Catherine: “How long have we known each other?”
Grissom: “In weeks, months or years?”
Catherine: “Can you hear me?”
Catherine (to Brass, discussing Grissom wandering off by himself): “Let’s just hope he stops.”
Catherine (to Sam Braun): “It’s just such a lousy way to find out that you’re my father.”
*graphics by forum member Andry