CSI QUOTE ARCHIVE: CATHERINE WILLOWS SEASON 4 QUOTES
4.01 Assume Nothing
Catherine: “Funny, doesn’t look like a doghouse.”
Nick: “Grissom ratted me out, huh?”
Catherine: “Um, no, you ratted yourself out. Hey, Nick, I know you’re proud of what you do. You’re good at what you do, and you want people to know what you do, but once you open your mouth, it’s all over because what we say ends up in the news.”
Nick: “I guess I’m learning that the hard way, huh?”
Catherine: “Glitter?”
Doc Robbins: “Yeah, there is a strip club named Shimmer on Industrial. I recognized the ‘S’ almost immediately.”
Catherine: “You go, Doc.”
4.02 All for our Country
Cath: “It’s raining man juice?!”
Sara: “Hallelujah.”
Sara: “There’s no sign of struggle. Any prints would have been washed away. Where does that leave us?”
Catherine: “Same place we were when we walked through the door…with a bloated floater.”
Sara: “What tipped you to the ring?”
Catherine: “Jaws.”
Sara: “Peter Benchley’s Jaws?”
Catherine: “No. Steven Spielberg’s Jaws.”
4.03 Homebodies
Catherine: “You leave the city to get away from crime and guns fall out of the sky.”
Catherine: “The hunter becomes the hunted.”
Warrick: “You got a theory?”
Catherine: “You got 10 bucks?”
4.04 Feeling The Heat
Catherine: “If it’s not babies in cars, it’s babies in swimming pools”
Catherine: “They don’t kill the first child who’s dying. why kill the second child who’s healthy?”
Greg: “Another baby, I hear the DA is really gunning for the father. What do you think they are gonna charge him with? Murder?”
Catherine: “Not likely. Child endangerment, child neglect, child abuse.”
Greg: “Sounds like a slap on the wrist to me.”
Catherine: “You and the DA can shake hands.”
4.05 Fur & Loathing
Catherine: “”So, if we follow the ipecac and civet oil maybe it’ll lead us to the shooter. I don’t see a compartment for a concealed rifle.”
Catherine: “This is weirding me out.”
Catherine: “Hello Sexy.”
Catherine: ”Okay, well, I’ve heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?”
Catherine: “Well, I like hairy chests, but I’m not about to bop a six foot weasel.”
Polar Bear: “Password?”
Catherine: “E-I-E-I-O?”
Catherine: “I get ‘fur pile’. Define ‘yiffing’.”
Catherine: “You ever have a car fight? If a couple has any kind of history together, they know how to push each others buttons. And if you lock em up in a metal box with wheels on a bad night, they’re gonna start pressing them.”
Grissom: “So either he told Linda to stop the car and let him out, or she told him to start walking?”
Catherine: “Yes! That one. I mean, it isn’t bad enough that raccoon boy blows his girlfriend off to go fur piling, he gets sick licking some nasty kitty then makes Lamb Chop drive him home.”
Catherine: “That’s how car fights always end. After a mile or two you start to feel guilty that you’ve abandoned the person and you turn around. But she didn’t count on an 18 wheeler finishing her off.”
Catherine: “You don’t think they allow plushies in the NRA?”
Catherine: “The eternal question…why did the man in the raccoon suit cross the road?”
Catherine (referring to victims house): “Not an Architectural Digest reader.”
Catherine: “Whoa Nelly!”
4.06 Jackpot
Catherine: “Is the service actually bad out there or are you just keeping your phone off?”
Grissom: “I’m sorry, I should have called.”
Catherine: “This trip wouldn’t have anything to so with you ducking case reviews, would it?”
Grissom: “How can you think that? You wouldn’t mind taking care of those for me, would you?”
Catherine: “Oh. Your job, my pay. Why would I care?”
Warrick: “Did I miss a memo?”
Catherine: “Oh, no. Grissom’s on a safari.”
Warrick: “Got you pushing his paperwork, huh?”
Catherine: “On no, I’m trying to avoid that.”
Catherine: “Everybody in Sleepy Hollow still drawing a blank on the victim?”
4.07 Invisible Evidence
Catherine: “Hey you.”
Warrick: “Hey.”
Catherine: “How… are you holding up?”
Warrick: “I’m fine.”
Catherine: “You sure?”
Warrick: “Yeah.”
Catherine: “You’re in the women’s bathroom.”
Warrick: [laughs] “Oh, God. I’m sorry.”
Catherine: [laughs and puts her hands up] “Hey. I’m all for it.”
Catherine: “Fresh eyes, new evidence.”
Catherine: “So I liked your tough act yesterday.”
Grissom: “Huh?”
Catherine: “I hand out the assignments. This isn’t a negotiation.”
Grissom: “What? Too much?”
Catherine: “Not enough.”
4.08 After The Show
Catherine: “Thousands of girls come to Vegas every year just hoping to beat the odds.”
Grissom: “Some of them do.”
Catherine: “And some of them don’t.”
Catherine: “Your father ever tell you you were pretty?”
Sara: “I guess.”
Catherine: “Did he ever tell you you were smart?”
Sara: “Yeah.”
Catherine: “So it probably never occurred to you that you wouldn’t be successful. If all you ever hear is that you’re gorgeous, you can let everything fall away and leave you in a very dangerous place.”
Nick: “Did anyone stop to think this guy might just be nuts?”
Catherine: “Well, until we find the body, he is all the evidence we’ve got.”
Catherine: “Believe me, I’d rather follow the evidence, but if it takes having the evidence follow me…”
Nick: “The original missing person’s call was mine and Sara’s.”
Catherine: “I’m the senior CSI here.”
Grissom: “Um…I’m the senior CSI here.” (Cath looks at him.)
Catherine: “You want it?”
Nick: “Hold on now. This is a career booster, Grissom. You know both Sara and I put in for a promotion. If we work this, we’re on departmental radar.”
Catherine: “I’ve got the most high profile cases under my belt. I think the sheriff would rest easier knowing I was heading it up.”
Sara: “It’s a big department. There’s plenty of room at the top.”
Nick: “We wouldn’t ask if we couldn’t do it.”
(silence as they wait for what Grissom has to say)
Sara: “Fine.” (She leaves and Nick follows silently)
Catherine: “So, you have my back?”
Grissom: “I always have your back.”
Catherine(to car dealer): “You know what I did the last time I looked at a car? I cut out a 12 by 12 inch section of leather from every seat. Guy was a drug dealer. You know, a salesman.”
4.09 Grissom Versus the Volcano
Catherine: “In fifth grade, I built one of these as my science fair project. It was awesome. First place should have been mine, but they ended up giving it to this kid with some lame red ant colony.”
(Grissom gives her a smug look.)
Catherine: “That was you!”
Grissom: “Yeah, only my ants were black Argentineans.”
Catherine: “Uh-huh…”
Grissom: “I learned at a very early age that the bugs always win.”
Catherine: “Right…”
Catherine: “Forget secret agent. Roger Dunbar was living a secret life.”
4.10 Coming of Rage
Catherine: “Hey boys, there’s always room for Jello.”
Bobby: “Catherine, technically that’s ballistics gel.”
Catherine: “I wasn’t planning on eating it.”
4.11 Eleven Angry Jurors
Juror: “Girl to girl, I’m a dancer. I came off the pole. I teased him a little bit.”
Catherine: “Woman to woman. The pole is there for a reason. It’s what you hang on to so the creeps don’t pull you out of there. Smarten up.”
4.12 Butterflied
Catherine: “One thing I could never get over with this job…anything can happen to anybody”
Catherine: “This bathroom is the reason she bought this place.”
Catherine(to Grissom): “You know you lose your edge after 16 hours. You are going into your third shift. You know I’m all for overtime, but this is plain greedy.”
Grissom (referring to silk he found tied to bed): “Got silk?”
Catherine: “Why, yes I do.”
Catherine (to Grissom): “I don’t mean to embarrass you, but you guys need leverage.”
4.13 Suckers
Catherine: “Give me a file, and I could sharpen my teeth into fangs.”
Catherine: “David, I don’t know a lot about vampires but if she was bit, there’s spit. And where there’s spit, there’s DNA.”
4.14 Paper Or Plastic?
Catherine: “Almost 900 in small bills. Would have noticed pockets bulging with a wad like that.”
4.15 Early Rollout
Catherine Willows: “Write this down – I haven’t had sex in six, no, seven months!”
Gil Grissom: “How can I help?”
[Her eyes widen]
Gil Grissom: “You. Advance, I mean.”
Catherine: “Checkin’ out my butt, Greg?”
Catherine: “Classic Vegas. He pays for her boobs, tummy tuck, Prada, French spa, French manicures and she’s just hanging on his arm like she belongs.”
Catherine: “I bet he seduced her and then he produced her.”
Catherine: “Oh, you’re still here. So, I’m leaving. Need anything?”
Grissom: “No, I’m good.”
Catherine: “Are we good?”
Grissom: “We’ll be fine.”
Catherine: “OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Grissom: “Going out?”
Catherine: “I’ve got some unfinished business to take care of.”
4.16 Getting Off
Catherine: [analyzing boxers] “All right, what do those look like to you?”
Greg: “Semen stains.”
Catherine: “Yeah.”
Greg: “Which on a man’s underwear aren’t exactly probative.”
Catherine: “No.”
Greg: “I can’t tell you how long they’ve been there or how often the guy changes his shorts. You know, I knew guys who could go up to four days on one single pair of tightie whities.”
Catherine: “Thanks for putting that picture in my brain.”
Detective Cavalier (taking picture of victim): “Don’t get territorial. It’s for my own personal collection.”
Catherine: “Whatever blows your skirt up. Burn me a copy.”
Catherine: “How do you register a clown?”
Buddy Ween: “Parents throw parties. They like clowns because they think their kids like clowns.”
Catherine: “Lindsey’s fourth. Bad scene.”
4.17 XX
Catherine: “So if the bus is traveling 65mph, what’s the distance from the tip of her nose to the tip of her toes?”
Catherine (to Warden): “Lots of things are felonies, but people still do them. Otherwise you and I would be out of a job.”
Catherine: “Home pregnancy test, huh?”
Doc Robbins: “About ten times cheaper than the brands sold by our medical supply company and just as accurate.”
Catherine: “Eye on the bottom line. I find that very…”
Doc Robbins: “Sexy”
Catherine: “Prudent. But that was a good try.”
Doc Robbins: “Plus sign. You know what that means.”
Catherine: “Who’s your Daddy?”
4.18 Bad To The Bone
Grissom (after getting attacked): “I’m fine.”
Catherine (touches wound on his neck): “Nasty. Kind of looks like a hickey.”
Catherine: (into her phone) “Why don’t you hold that thought until later?”
4.19 Bad Words
Catherine: “Hey, if you can explain the behavior of teenagers, more power to you.”
Catherine: “Ritalin, Valium and Grandma is a liar.”
4.20 Dead Ringer
Catherine (to Grissom when he starts playing ‘inspirational’ music for her): “What the hell kind of music is that?!”
Catherine (to Grissom): “How about something that doesn’t twang?”
Catherine (to Grissom): “What, are you taking a leak?! The follow car is supposed to stay with the runner!”
Mendez: “I just made Lieutenant. I’ve got nothing to prove.”
Catherine: “A man with nothing to prove. That’s a first.”
Medic: “There is something wrong in the world if all you do is handle test tubes.”
Catherine: “If you think that’s all I handle, you’d be very mistaken.”
4.21 Turn Of The Screws
Warrick: “Hodges analzyed the trace evidence in Tessa’s wound. Seems it was ZooDoo.”
Catherine: “Come again?”
Warrick: “Hoof stock. It’s a combination of feces of Rhino and Zebras.”
Catherine: “You’re kidding.”
Warrick: “They say that the smell of wild animal crap keeps the deer away.”
Catherine: “Who knew?”
Raina Press: “Justin was the best thing in my life.”
Catherine: “No, your daughter was the best thing in your life.”
Raina Press: “You didn’t know her.”
Caherine: “I know she was thirteen years old. A child!”
4.22 No More Bets
Catherine: “In this town it is always Halloween.”
Grissom: “Any evidence that comes from you is tainted.”
Catherine: “So have it come from you. A warrant shouldn’t be hard to get, especially if the call comes from someone whose character is above reproach.”
4.23 Bloodlines
Catherine: “Linley was absolutely certain that Todd Coombs raped her.”
Grissom: “That’s not what the evidence says.”
Catherine: “Well, maybe the evidence is wrong.”
*graphics made by forum member Andry