Late Night with Conan O’Brien, November 12, 2003 (transcript of Marg’s interview)

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O’BRIEN – TRANSCRIPT OF MARG’S INTERVIEW

Conan: My next guest tonight is an Emmy award winning actress who currently stars on the #1 show in television CSI. Please welcome the lovely Marg Helgenberger!!!!

As Marg is coming out, the lights dim

Marg: Trying to figure out what that music is.
Conan: Did you notice that the lights went out for a second? That wasn’t a bit or anything. I think, did we pay our bill this month? What was that? That was eerie. Alright we are here.
Marg: We are.
Conan: The sexy red heads of TV.
Marg:( Laughs)
Conan: Wait, Why did you laugh at that? Now there is David Caruso, there’s you, there’s me
Marg: On TV?
Conan: There.. . Yeah
Marg: Ahh, I guess Debra Messing. I don’t know if she is a natural or not, But she’s a red head.
Conan: Yeah she’s a red head. Ralph Malph from Happy Days
Marg: Ralph Malph

Conan: Do you find red heads attractive? In your, have you found in your personal life, are you attracted to red heads?
Marg: Are you?
Conan: Am I attracted to them?
Marg: Yeah
Conan: I’m a Brendan Frasier man now. He’s completely won me over.
Marg: (laughs) Who isn’t?
Conan: After the mouth thingy (Conan claps), he’s won me all to pieces.
Marg: (laughs) No, I mean. Just because usually I’m not attracted to, I don’t mean in a romantic way.
Conan: In this case you are.
Marg: Yes, Yes
Conan: What she meant
Marg: God
Conan: was outside of this, because you are clearly flustered by my beauty.
Marg: (laughs) The opposite thing.
Conan: The opposite thing.
Marg: My husband is dark and…
Conan: A lot of people are drawn to their opposite in different way.
Marg: Right
Conan: I understand that. That’s perfectly understandable. And I think you should leave now.
Marg: (Laughing)

Conan: You know one thing I wanted to ask you about your show, which is very cool. I love everything about crime detection. Especially when it involves, like for example, autopsies and things like that. I have always been into that stuff and on your show. You get to study, as part of your job, the real life high tech stuff they use to solve crime and you get to see some of the cutting edge stuff that is really in use. Is that true?
Marg: Yeah, many times. We have all the state of the art equipment on our show. Because it’s a TV show.
Conan: You want to be up to date and realistic.
Marg: Right, Right. I mean one of the. For some reason last year they always had me on this machine called the ALS (alternate light source) which detects all kinds of proteins. And you know what I mean by that don’t ya? In other words
Conan: Fluids. You can see fluids. Labamba** knows what we are talking about.
Marg: I use to refer to it
Conan: Labamba’s got one home (laughs)
Marg: I use to refer to is as being on the (Marg gets bleeped) trail.
Conan: OK, We cannot talk that way. Or can we? I’m not sure
Marg: Isn’t it late night?
Conan: Yeah I thought so, But they’ll either bleep that or not. They might run an old like you know a sitcom during that.
Marg: Come on! They will?
Conan: I don’t know. I don’t know if you are allowed to say that. We’ll look it up
(Show producer?? Shaking his head no.)
Conan: We’ll find out.

Conan: One thing I find about your show in particular, is that when I watch TV, it’s usually when I get home from this job and it’s pretty late and so I eat my dinner and watch TV at the same time. And I found that your show, it’s hard to eat in front of because the bodies. It’s so realistic. And it’s actually a compliment, but I can’t eat my food and and like be cutting into my chicken while you guys are ripping open someone’s breast plate on the show. I find that to very difficult. Like ‘Friends,’ very eating friendly.
Marg: Yeah
Conan: They’re like ‘Yea Wee!’. There are certain shows where it works. But your show, it’s hard to eat in front of.
Marg: Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Actually I was, I witnessed a couple of autopsies. Actual autopsies and the sense-o-rama effect was. Stayed with me through out the entire day. I couldn’t eat for the entire day.
Conan: Did you find that was the…that was the hard, was it the visuals that was bothering you more or like the.
Marg: it just was the whole thing.
Conan: Right
Marg: I mean. It was just sensory overload in every way. Because one of the bodies was what we refer to as a decomp and…
Conan: See that’s the kind of. I know people are like eww. But I find that stuff fascinating. I really do.

Marg: Have you ever seen one?
Conan: The only thing I have ever done is watch that show on HBO, ‘Autopsy,’ which I love.
Marg: Yes
Conan: Because they show you the real stuff.
Marg: Every time I channel surf and that’s on, I watch it too.
Conan: And I watch it and sometimes part of me wants to leave the room but I have to watch and I find fascinating.
Marg: Well, people…
Conan: I find that with this show too actually (Conan chuckles). I want to leave the room but I must watch.
Marg (Laughs)

Conan: He’s so pretty.
Marg: But, Yes. I think people are fascinated with death.
Conan: Right, Right
Marg: And decay. I guess, you know…
Conan: Death and decay, They go hand in hand.
Marg (laughs)
Conan: Wow, there’s no graceful way out of this topic is there?
Marg: You know what? I, You know what? I have to tell you something.
Conan: People are fascinated with death. And decay. You’re right. We’ll be right back.
Marg and Conan: (laughing)

Marg: I once asked a medical examiner though. She had to exhume a body. And she said Oh many times. And she said one time it was this gentleman who had, it was a water tight coffin because he was. The wife requested that because he was deathly afraid f water when he was alive. So his flower was still intact and this note he was holding from his grandchildren was still there. It was so touching. And I said why did you exhume it? She said well it was this nurse who they think had these multiple personalities. And one of her personalities may have poisoned him, when he was in the hospital, for this hospital stay. It led to the whole sort of discussion about it.
Conan: See I don’t care. When people get into all the, I want to be dressed in this suit and I want to be put over there cause I like the view. I think you’re dead, you’re gone. I don’t care what they do to me. They can leave me in a field somewhere. I want children to find me and go AHHH!!! You know?
Marg:(laughs)
Conan: That’s what I want. On Halloween.
Marg:( still laughing)
Conan: Please someone remember that when I am gone.
Marg: ( still laughing)
Conan: CSI airs Thursday nights at 9:00 on CBS. Marg, Thank you very much for being here.
Marg: Thank You, Conan.
Conan: Nice having you on the show. Marg Helgenberger, Everyone!!

*A special thanks to fox1 for transcribing this interview*