THE TONY DANZA SHOW, TRANSCRIPT OF MARG’S INTERVIEW
October 5, 2005
Tony: Our first guest can be seen every week as the stripper — I didn’t know she was a stripper — turned investigator on prime time’s most watched show CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Here’s a little something to look at.
(Clip of CSI Shown)
Tony: People, welcome back to the show, Marg Helgenberger
Tony: Happy October.
Marg: Thank you. It was my husband’s birthday yesterday.
Tony: How is Alan?
Marg: He’s great, thank you.
Tony: Alan Rosenberg is her husband. One of the great actors around, a good guy.
Marg: Thank you, Tony.
Tony: Tell him I said Happy Birthday as well. In fact, we can say it, Happy Birthday Alan. How’s that?
Tony: You know, last time I saw you, you were at the Emmy’s, having a seemingly good time.
Marg: I was having a great time actually.
Tony: How did that thing happen in the beginning?
Marg: That was a complete surprise. I didn’t expect that at all. But you know, hey it was Earth Wind and Fire.
Tony: Oh, here’s a picture.
(Picture of Marg dancing at the Emmys shown)
Tony: Is that Philip Bailey from Earth Wind and File?
Marg: You know what, it might be someone from the Black Eyed Peas. I am embarrassed to say, I don’t know. I didn’t even meet him. I was hoping to meet him later.
Tony: You just dance with strange men in the aisle at these events?
Marg: He asked. He was very gentlemanly and the music was so great. It’s a great song, That ‘September’ song…
Tony: (singing) “Do you remember” Yeah, but you let loose. It was great, it really was.
Marg: I was with Quentin Tarantino, I was presenting with him. You know he’s a lot of fun.
Tony: He directed one of the episodes.
Marg: The season finale last year. Yeah, season five. He was great. And the whole crew, everyone was really delighted.
Tony: They were excited to work with him?
Marg: Yeah, and really worked much harder than they probably would have for any other director.
Tony: The TV guys come in and say, ‘hey they were so good last week.’
Tony: So I read something else. Did Playboy approach you? Is that true? There’s a rumor about this.
Marg: Yeah, they did. I guess it was a couple of years ago.
Tony: Are you considering it?
Marg: No, no, no, no. I mean, hey I was flattered. Well, Alan actually, you know he was glad I said no. But I think he still made a few phone calls to his buddies saying, ‘Guess what? My wife…’ But our son, I didn’t tell him, but Alan..
Tony: He’s fifteen, right?
Marg: He’s turning fifteen this month, yes. The twenty-first of October. And anyway, Alan told Hughie, and Hughie’s response was, ‘NO! NO!’ And I was like, ‘Hughie, no no.’
Tony: That would be hard.
Marg: He would be mortified.
Tony: No, but it would be, I think, it would be hard for the husband, but it would really be hard for the son.
Marg: Yeah, at that age.
Tony: Although I’m dying to buy that issue.
Tony: So he’s fifteen now. What are you going through there with fifteen? Because you know, by the way, I don’t know if you know…I just became a grandfather.
Marg: Oh, that’s right, Congratulations.
Tony: My son and he’s thirty-four.
Marg: Did you have a boy or a girl?
Tony: He had a boy.
Marg: That’s great! Congratulations!
Tony: I can’t take it. I want to eat him alive. But what I’m saying, I remember back when Mark was fifteen, and you know, it was a handful because they’re virgining (not sure what Tony said there) and they’re coming into adulthood and all of that.
Marg: Yeah, it’s challenging, but it’s a lot of fun I have to say. You know, the girls are now sort of calling and approaching. I’ll be walking down the street with him, and of course, he’s still, he’s okay with me being by his side. He’s not like a few steps behind. But he… the girls will be screaming from a car ‘Hughie!’ and he’ll just like lower his head and keep moving on. I think he’d be more cool about it if I wasn’t around, if he was with his buddies.
Tony: Yeah, Yeah. But it’s got to be interesting for him to be fifteen, to be coming into this and to have you as his mom, this beautiful and famous actress. How does he deal with that?
Marg: You know what? I don’t know if it affects him that much. I mean, I’m sure it does, but he wouldn’t let on to me.
Tony: It probably says something about you too. I always think that it’s how you come across. You set the example for the kids. In other words, if you come in with your make-up artist, then I think he treats you a little differently.
Marg: Yeah. No, I’m just a mother of a teenage boy to him. And the house actually is always filled with a lot of his friends, which is, I love that, even though it can get smelly and messy from time to time. But I love the energy of these boys.
Tony: It’s nice to have the house where they come to. That says something to you as well.
Marg: Yeah, the cool house.
Tony: You just got back from a vacation, am I right?
Marg: Yes, we went to Europe in the summer. We were in Paris and Positano.
Tony: Oh, I love Positano.
Marg: Isn’t it sweet?
Tony: Oh, it’s unbelievable.
Marg: It’s so charming.
Tony: I love it so much. And I haven’t been to Paris. I have to go to France. Emmy…
Marg: Oh, you haven’t?
Tony: My little Emmy wants to go to Paris. She’s been saying, ‘I must go to Paris.’
Marg: ‘I must go to Paris.’
Tony: I swear, I must. I’m not kidding, I must. Do you run into fans of the show? Do you find out which countries you’re in?
Marg: The show is a global hit. It’s kind of shocking when you do travel places you don’t quite expect the fans to be approaching you. But in Paris it was, well Positano, too. But in Paris because it’s a big city and you’re wandering, you’re walking everywhere. I couldn’t believe it. I mean I walked down the street where there’s this sidewalk café and people would say, ‘Catherine, ca va?’ because that’s my character’s name and this and that. But I have to say an embarrassing moment was one time when I thought it was another cell phone picture or camera, somebody approaching me wanting their picture and I was all ready to do it. Instead they wanted me to hold the camera and take their picture. It was pretty humbling, I must say, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Tony: Reminds me of when I was in Italy and really nobody recognized me except a bus load…
Marg: They didn’t?
Tony: a bus load of Filipinos. Evidently the show’s big in the Philippines.
Tony: Anyway, don’t go away because after this break, we’re going to create a brand new sandwich in honor of Marg, called the Marg Helgenberger. Get it? Stick around, we’ll be right back.
(When the show returns Tony and Marg are in the studio “kitchen” )
Tony: We’re back with CSI star Marg Helgenberger, and obviously, she even makes the hat look good. Mine looks great though. I look like a Q-Tip.
Marg: Mine looks flaccid, and yours does not.
Tony: Don’t say flaccid around me. Does your thing say ‘Kiss the Chef’? (Tony gives Marg a quick kiss) Oh Baby! Alan, I’m sorry!
Tony: Because Marg is here, we’re trying to come up with a special sandwich in her honor called the Marg Helgenberger. Get it? So we have two stations. Each one of us will make our own version of the Helgenberger. And I think height counts. We have veggie burgers, chicken burgers and, of course, the old meat. You know veggie, not veggie. I’m not a veggie guy. Get out of here. Get out! (Tony flings the veggie burger across the room) For those of you out there who are vegetarians, I’m only kidding around.
So you ready, Marg?
Marg: I am. Look I’ve started. They didn’t provide us with a paring knife. Props!
Tony; Oh, here it is. I’m going to go with beef.
Marg: I’m going to go with beef too. I’m from Nebraska. I worked in a meat packing house.
(Marg and Tony make their burgers and have some idle chit chat)
Tony: We do need a little tomato.
Marg: Oh, this is a funky bun.
Tony: A little roasted pepper, a little hot Italian ham. Oh olives, some black olives. We have to have some red onions.
Marg: That is a heartburn special.
Tony: By the way, did you say that you worked in a meat packing plant?
Marg: Yeah, you heard me correctly. Back in Nebraska, I worked in a packing house.
Tony: What was your job?
Marg: I did a bunch of things. I was in the ‘Break & Fab’ – breaking the meat down and fabricating it. I would trim fat off tenderloins. It was gnarly. It was a tough job to get. Because my dad was a meat inspector I had an ‘in’.
Tony: Nepotism always works.
Marg: Doesn’t it though? It helped finance my college education.
Tony: A little carbonara here.
Marg: I’m going to put a little chili on mine.
Tony: Oh, I just happen to have a fried egg. Some pickles and can’t forget the grilled peppers.
Marg: So height, that’s the criteria?
Tony: No, I think taste is the criteria, but height is going to count for something.
Marg: Is there a prize for this or something?
(Tony and Marg compare burgers)
Tony: What do you have on yours?
Marg: I have onion rings and tomatoes and lettuce, carrots, chili, goat cheese.
Tony: Do you have mustard on that too?
Marg: Mustard and mayo. I mixed it up together.
Tony: CSI, Thursday nights on CBS. Marg, thank you so much.