LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, TRANSCRIPT OF MARG’S INTERVIEW
Aired October 27, 2010
Craig: My first guest tonight is a beautiful actress. She stars in CSI, the show, you know. (laughs) Yeah yeah, thanks. Thanks for your encouragement…The CSI, you know the CSI! Thursday nights on CBS, you know. Look, look! Here’s a clip…
(clip from CSI 11×06 ‘Cold Blooded’ is shown)
Craig: Please welcome, Marg Helgenberger, everybody! Marg Helgenberger!
Craig: Marg Helgenberger, look at you! You’re adorable. You’re gorgeous. You look sensational. (stares at her boots) Can I?…
Marg: My boots? (Puts her foot on Craig’s desk). Yeah…
Marg: I got these… (audience cheers)
Craig: Yeah, look. (grabs his snake coffee mug) Your snake can meet my snake. Look at that. Wow. Are those…is that snakeskin?
Marg: They’re suede.
Craig: Oh suede.
Marg: You wanna feel?
Craig: May I?
Marg: You may. Mmhmm. (audience cheers)
Craig (to audience): Look, knock it off. I mean it.
Craig (to Marg): Can I have a picture of those for my website, I mean, shoe collection? (Marg laughs)
Craig: Wow, they’re kind of special.
Marg: I got them…
Craig: Are you a bit of a shoe nut? What’s that?
Marg: I got them in Milan.
Craig: In Milan?
Marg (reaching behind her): My transmitter just dropped, but we’ll just put it behind me.
Craig: Do you have a transmitter? (Marg laughs) So that somebody knows where you are all the time.
Marg: Yep. All the time. Mmhmm.
Craig: You bought your shoes in Milan?
Craig: Did you go there for Fashion Week of something?
Marg: Well, it…no. But it happened to be arriving as we were there.
Craig: What? Fashion Week?
Marg: Fashion Week. Yes.
Craig: Are you a big shoe freak? Do you enjoy shoes? Do you like wearing shoes and nothing else and walking around the house? (Marg & the audience laugh)
Craig: You do!!
Marg: Oh my God! No, that just reminded me of this…I should…I probably shouldn’t go into this story…
Craig: No, you probably, you probably should go into this story!
Marg: This was a long time ago when I was doing my first series China Beach.
(Craig pulls out a wad of bills. Marg laughs).
Craig: Yeah, come on. Let’s hear it. Does $2 refresh your memory?
Craig: So, you were doing China Beach?
Marg: I…yeah. Yes. And there was…some of my fan mail was sort of odd. I’m sure you get some odd fan mail too. And there used to be this guy…
Craig: I don’t get any fan mail…
Marg: That used to send me a request for – he wanted a photo of me that was taken with my bare feet, you know, and he actually did like a pencil sketch of me, like sitting in some kind of like a Daisy Duke pose, or whatever.
Marg: And he used to say…
Craig: Where would I get that sketch? (Audience laughs)
Marg: But he would say ‘I know this sounds like a weird request, by my…’ He was a radio DJ in Ohio or something, and it was like ‘But most of my listeners are hillbilly types.’ And I thought ‘No way. This guy’s got like a foot fetish.’
Craig: Yeah, absolutely.
Craig: What, what, what…
Marg: And he was trying to pass it off on the fans. You know, blame them.
Craig: Yeah, yeah that’s outrageous. You’d never get me doing that. (Everyone laughs)
Craig: Do you think men have…I don’t know that many men have a foot fetish. I think women have shoe fetishes though. I think that happens quite a lot. Do you want this three bucks?
Marg: Why not?
Craig: All right, there ya go. CBS Cares. (Everyone laughs)
Craig: I umm…. (Marg stuffs the money in her bra while Craig is talking) I think women…(Audience cheers)
Marg: You know…
Geoff (the robot): CS I’m single!
Craig (laughing): Ah yeah, all right. (Laughs again). I know. (Marg laughs) The gay robot’s hitting on you. I know that you can hardly contain your excitement.
Geoff: You’re hot!
Marg: You have matching mugs! Kind of.
Craig: Yeah, we’re kind of like buddies. We live in the same house and what happens is…
Geoff: Uh huh.
Craig: Yeah, and when it’s time to do the show, they ring a little bell and we slide down a fireman’s pole and then come to the show. It’s adorable.
Marg: You guys have a lot of fun on this show, don’t you?
Craig: I tell you, they should do a reality show about us. It’s like the Kardashians with less ass.
Geoff: In your pants.
Craig: Exactly, yeah.
Marg (to Geoff): What did you say? I missed that.
Craig: In his…
Geoff: In your pants.
Craig: In your pants. Yeah, he does that a lot.
Craig: So, how are things with you then? What have you been up to? Who were you in Milan with? Anyone I know?
Craig: Ooohhh, Aaahhh.
Marg: Nobody you know.
Craig: All right. What’s going on then?
Marg: A friend of mine.
Craig: Oh yeah.
Craig: Male? Lady friend?
Craig: Oh a male lady friend?
Marg: No, a male friend.
Craig: A male friend. All right.
Marg: Yes, we were in Europe. We did a fast kind of trip through Europe in September.
Marg: Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
Craig: Where did you go? Milan. What else?
Marg: We were in Paris and London and Milan and Lake Como. For, all in eleven days. Action packed.
Craig: Wow, that sounds fantastic.
Marg: It was fun, Yeah.
Craig: Do you enjoy the pasta?
Marg: Yeah. Oh yeah.
Craig: You ever been to Atlantic City?
Marg: Why do you say that?
Craig: Because there’s a restaurant called Carmine’s that does really good pasta in Atlantic City. That’s all I’m saying.
Marg: Oh, okay. There used to be a Carmine’s…
Craig (in Italian accent): That’s all you need to know.
Marg: Oh. There used to be a Carmine’s here in L.A.
Craig: Yeah. I think, I think…is there still a Carmine’s in L.A.? I don’t know.
Craig: You’re from the Midwest though?
Marg: I am.
Craig: Yeah, you don’t know nothing about pasta. You’re cheesy.
Marg: No, not really.
Craig: Yeah, yeah.
Craig: Not cheesy, but you enjoy cheese is what I’m saying. Yeah, I’m not saying you’re cheesy.
Marg: That’s Wisconsin.
Craig: Wisconsin. Yeah Wisconsin.
Marg: Nebraska’s more beef and corn and wheat.
Craig: Yeah. Beef, corn and wheat.
Marg: Yeah. Beef,corn and wheat.
Craig: Oh that’s lovely.
Craig: But you follow football.
Marg: Both pro and college. Yes.
Marg: Mmhmm. Yeah.
Craig: I know nothing about football.
Marg: Not American football anyway, right?
Craig: Any football really. Yeah.
Craig: What about the CSI? How’s that going? Is this your…this is your last season…is that right?
Marg: Yeah. Mmhmm.
Marg(to audience reaction): Oh!
Craig: That’s, Well that’s…what’s going to happen to you? Are you gonna be killed in the end of the show?
Marg: No, no, no. It’s going to be…
Craig: Not in real life. I just meant in the show. I didn’t mean, you know…
Marg: No, I know… It’s a… I don’t like talking about it too much because I kind of get that reaction a lot actually.
Craig: What? People going ‘Ooh’? I get that whenever I take off my pants.
Craig: Well, It’s doing well though, isn’t it?
Marg: Yeah. We’re still in the top ten, I see, which is kind of awesome in your eleventh season.
Craig: Do you ever take the…
Marg: Do I ever what?
Craig: Do you ever wear the little gloves when you are home?
Marg: Oh, the Latex gloves?
Craig: Yeah. Do you ever wear them and the shoes and just walk around?
Marg: No, but I’m the supervisor around the show.
Craig: Go to Milan fashion week with just the gloves and the shoes.
Marg (laughing): I could try that.
Craig: Look at this, bitches!
Craig: They’d love it.
Marg: They would. It’s actually a big hit in Milan.
Craig: It would be controversial, yeah.
Marg: I kind of was…Yeah, I was surprised there was so many…Anyway, what was I…I don’t remember.
Craig: No, we’re done.
Craig: Do you…No, we are done, not personally. You and I are still good. We’re good.
Marg: We are, we are.
Craig: Do you want to play the harmonica with me? By harmonica, I mean mouth organ.
Craig: Come on. Look got a fresh one here. Can you play the mouth organ?
Marg: Your show keeps getting nuttier and nuttier. I love it, I love it.
Marg(to the audience): Isn’t it? Right.
Marg: I…Oh, I got a fresh one.
Craig: Yeah, you got a fresh one. Yeah.
Marg: I actually even had a lesson or two.
Craig: You have!?
Marg: A long, long, long, long time ago.
Craig: All right, let’s see what you got. Play it, girl.
Marg: No, I don’t know anything.
Craig: Yeah. What’s that? You got a big one there.
Marg: All I know is, you know, to get different tones you blow in and out.
(Marg and Craig Laugh)
Marg: Let’s hear you first.
Craig: Okay ready? (plays a small bit on the harmonica) Okay. Now you.
(Marg plays a small bit on the harmonica)
Craig(to audience): Do not applaud that.
(Craig plays more on the harmonica)
Marg: See, you can sound kind of cool without not…without doing a whole lot.
Craig: Yeah, you just blow a little bit and everybody’s happy.
Marg: I’m not the first guest to do this with you, am I?
Craig: No, no. I do this all the time, yeah. Hey, you got to fill your day.
Craig: We are out of time. Marg, it’s always a joy seeing you. Congratulations on your shoes (Marg laughs) and your friend going around Europe. It was lovely to see you.
Craig: Marg Helgenberger, everybody!!