Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (transcript of Marg’s interview)

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, TRANSCRIPT OF MARG’S INTERVIEW

June 7, 2005

CBS

Craig: Welcome back, you naughty little donkeys. Welcome back. Oh, you know you are. Welcome back to the Late, Late Show. My first guest is the Emmy winning star of television’s number one show CSI, which airs Thursday nights right here on CBS. Take a look at this…

(Clip of CSI is shown)

Craig: Please welcome Marg Helgenberger, everybody.
Marg: Nice crowd! Thank you very much.
Craig: They are very excited to see you. You’re on the biggest show in the history of TV, CSI.
Marg: It is a big, fat hit. Yeah.
Craig: It’s huge! Are you doing ok? Are you coping? Do you have legions of fans following you around looking for evidence?
Marg: You know it’s funny because it’s a big hit everywhere, and especially when you travel.
Craig: Foreign countries too?
Marg: Yes, yes it’s huge. And It’s odd when you get swarmed in places around like the Spanish Steps.
Craig: Really?
Marg: Yeah, It’s really…
Craig: You went to Italy and they chased you up in the steps.
Marg: Yeah. It was weird. It felt kind of like The Locust.
Craig: You know I have to tell you, I know, like women in Italy that look like you, they’re going to get swarmed anyway. Big show or not big show, you’re gonna get chased around. It happens. It just does. To me too.
Marg: Yeah.

Craig: That clip we saw there…
Marg: That was my husband. My real life husband, Alan Rosenberg. Yeah!
Craig: Is it like that at your house? Is that what it’s like?
Marg: Well actually, I chose that clip. Because I said ‘can we have the clip with me pulling the gun on my husband?’ And where I get to say a line like ‘You….’ What did I say?
Craig: You came to my house.
Marg: Well, ‘you came to my house’ was the Dirty harry line. But you know, ‘you want to talk to me, call your lawyer.’ (laughs)
Craig: I’ve been there with women.
Marg: ‘Set up an appointment at PD.’ Did they say that to you too?
Craig: Yeah, women have said that to me. Read the restraining order, fatty. Get out!
Marg: I can’t imagine why they would say that.

Craig: Yeah, it’s true. Your husband’s very tough and handsome. Are you okay with that?
Marg: You know, actually that was so unlike him. Because he’s really a nice Jewish boy. He really is. I mean he’s got, obviously, he’s rough around the edges at times. But it was an episode that the crew kept asking me ‘was it fun working with your husband?’ And I said ‘fun isn’t the right word for it’ – because it was – he kind of like takes some of the rough edges home with him when he’s playing those kind of roles.
Craig: Have you ever pulled a gun on him?
Marg: ‘Did he sleep on the couch?’ That’s what they asked me too. I said ‘a couple of times, yeah he did sleep on the couch.’
Craig: You’ve never actually pulled a gun on him though.
Marg: No. Maybe a water pistol.

Craig: Yeah? Now where are you from originally?
Marg: Originally from a small town in Nebraska.
Craig: Nebraska. Now I’ve never been there. I’ve never been there how it is? Is it nice?
Marg: And I heard you like doing road trips.
Craig: I do. I love going out on road trips, but I’ve never been to Nebraska. What part is Nebraska?
Marg: It’s the center of the United States. Like dead center.
Craig: Right. Near Kansas. Is it near Kansas?
Marg: Yes it is. It’s just north of Kansas, between Kansas and South Dakota.
Craig: And what do the folks do out there?
Marg: Farm. It’s farm country.
Craig: No sailors then.
Marg: No. There’s no water. Well there’s some rivers. There’s the Missouri river and Iowa. And the Platte river, which there’s a town. I grew up on the Platte River.

Craig: What did your family do?
Marg: My father was a meat inspector.
Craig: A meat inspector?
Marg: Yeah. As was my brother. My brother followed in his foot steps.
Craig: Did you never think of going into the meat inspection game yourself?
Marg: No. But I did work in a packing house.
Craig: You did?
Marg: In the summers, yes I did.
Craig: Is a packing house a slang name for something else? Or is it just…?
Marg: It’s a pretty tough name, isn’t it? Packing house.
Craig: Yeah, packing house. What do you think you’re packing?
Marg: Why is it called a packing house? You know it’s the meat packing plant, so I guess you know, you pack meat.
Craig: Really? You pack meat?
Marg: Well, I mean it’s the whole… (Marg gets Craig’s joke and starts laughing) I know I set that one up pretty well for ya.
Craig: It’s a meat packing plant. I asked you if you packed meat. That’s all I asked you.
Marg: You had to do it. You had to.
Craig: You decided to be an actress, You move to where, New York or California?
Marg: My first stop was New York.
Craig: Do you like New York? Do you like the folks there? They’re friendly, aren’t they?
Marg: I love New York. I love New Yorkers. I love their directness, their honesty, their accent. And the vibrancy of the city
Craig: Lovely smell in that city as well, isn’t there?
Marg: Especially in the summer.
Craig: Yeah, yeah. It’s a nice kind of…what is that smell? It’s a bit like a meat packing plant at times.
Marg: Similar, yes

Craig: Where do you make the CSI show? Do you make it there or do you make it here, don’t you? Or Las Vegas.
Marg: Parts we do in Las Vegas. About four times a year.
Craig: Do you like the gambling?
Marg: I’m not much of a gambler. My husband is though. In fact he’s going to be entering the World Series of Poker.
Craig: No. He’s that good?
Marg: He is. In fact, one of your producers…he says ‘your husband’s pretty good.’ He plays him on the internet.
Craig: He plays on the internet. I’m on the internet.
Marg: Yeah. Then he plays at Hollywood Park and in Vegas. This is the big thing. This is not celebrity poker. This is the one with the real sharks.
Craig: See, I don’t know anything about the poker game. Do you play? It’s a big thing.
Marg: No I don’t. I know it is. Right now, it’s very, very popular. Texas Hold ‘em, in particular, has become very like…
Craig: You know what I play. The thing that (makes like pulling a slot machine handle)
Marg: The slot machines. Yeah, I’ll do that. I’ll do that, yeah.
Craig: They don’t even have those anymore (referring to the handles). You know that. You just push a button. It’s like magic.
Marg: It’s really lazy, isn’t it? Lazy. No. I tried black jack a few times. I got nervous.
Craig: I think life’s a gamble anyway.
Marg: Isn’t it though? Absolutely I couldn’t agree more.
Craig: Life’s a gamble and I’m cautious. I’m cautious with money.
Marg: You know it’s good to be.
Craig: I think so, because there’s so much crime out there as well.

Marg: Lots of crime and I’m there to solve all of them.
Craig: Did you ever walk around and study policemen and all that stuff? Did you ever study policemen? (laughs) No! But before you were doing the show, did you study crime?
Marg: Yes, yes. In fact, I’ve ridden with a few criminalists. One, in particular, in Vegas.
Craig: Have you ever been in a high speed chase?
Marg: I haven’t no. But I would love that.
Craig: No, no you don’t. You’ll get caught. The CSI show is just fantastic and I really, really love it.
Marg: Thank you.
Craig: And I think you’re going to get an Emmy award this year for what you do. And you should get one.
Marg: Oh, thank you.
Craig: Thank you so much for coming.
Marg: Thank you. Thank you.
Craig: Marg Helgenberger, everybody!

*Special thanks to fox1 for transcribing this interview.