THE TONY DANZA SHOW,Ā TRANSCRIPT OF MARG’S INTERVIEW
October 5, 2005
Tony: Our first guest can be seen every week as the stripper — I didnāt know she was a stripper — turned investigator on prime timeās most watched show CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Hereās a little something to look at.
(Clip of CSI Shown)
Tony: People, welcome back to the show, Marg Helgenberger
Tony: Happy October.
Marg: Thank you. It was my husbandās birthday yesterday.
Tony: How is Alan?
Marg: Heās great, thank you.
Tony: Alan Rosenberg is her husband. One of the great actors around, a good guy.
Marg: Thank you, Tony.
Tony: Tell him I said Happy Birthday as well. In fact, we can say it, Happy Birthday Alan. Howās that?
Tony: You know, last time I saw you, you were at the Emmyās, having a seemingly good time.
Marg: I was having a great time actually.
Tony: How did that thing happen in the beginning?
Marg: That was a complete surprise. I didnāt expect that at all. But you know, hey it was Earth Wind and Fire.
Tony: Oh, hereās a picture.
(Picture of Marg dancing at the Emmys shown)
Tony: Is that Philip Bailey from Earth Wind and File?
Marg: You know what, it might be someone from the Black Eyed Peas. I am embarrassed to say, I donāt know. I didnāt even meet him. I was hoping to meet him later.
Tony: You just dance with strange men in the aisle at these events?
Marg: He asked. He was very gentlemanly and the music was so great. Itās a great song, That āSeptemberā songā¦
Tony: (singing) āDo you rememberā Yeah, but you let loose. It was great, it really was.
Marg: I was with Quentin Tarantino, I was presenting with him. You know heās a lot of fun.
Tony: He directed one of the episodes.
Marg: The season finale last year. Yeah, season five. He was great. And the whole crew, everyone was really delighted.
Tony: They were excited to work with him?
Marg: Yeah, and really worked much harder than they probably would have for any other director.
Tony: The TV guys come in and say, āhey they were so good last week.ā
Tony: So I read something else. Did Playboy approach you? Is that true? Thereās a rumor about this.
Marg: Yeah, they did. I guess it was a couple of years ago.
Tony: Are you considering it?
Marg: No, no, no, no. I mean, hey I was flattered. Well, Alan actually, you know he was glad I said no. But I think he still made a few phone calls to his buddies saying, āGuess what? My wife…ā But our son, I didnāt tell him, but Alan..
Tony: Heās fifteen, right?
Marg: Heās turning fifteen this month, yes. The twenty-first of October. And anyway, Alan told Hughie, and Hughieās response was, āNO! NO!ā And I was like, āHughie, no no.ā
Tony: That would be hard.
Marg: He would be mortified.
Tony: No, but it would be, I think, it would be hard for the husband, but it would really be hard for the son.
Marg: Yeah, at that age.
Tony: Although Iām dying to buy that issue.
Tony: So heās fifteen now. What are you going through there with fifteen? Because you know, by the way, I donāt know if you knowā¦I just became a grandfather.
Marg: Oh, thatās right, Congratulations.
Tony: My son and heās thirty-four.
Marg: Did you have a boy or a girl?
Tony: He had a boy.
Marg: Thatās great! Congratulations!
Tony: I canāt take it. I want to eat him alive. But what Iām saying, I remember back when Mark was fifteen, and you know, it was a handful because theyāre virgining (not sure what Tony said there) and theyāre coming into adulthood and all of that.
Marg: Yeah, itās challenging, but itās a lot of fun I have to say. You know, the girls are now sort of calling and approaching. Iāll be walking down the street with him, and of course, heās still, heās okay with me being by his side. Heās not like a few steps behind. But heā¦ the girls will be screaming from a car āHughie!ā and heāll just like lower his head and keep moving on. I think heād be more cool about it if I wasnāt around, if he was with his buddies.
Tony: Yeah, Yeah. But itās got to be interesting for him to be fifteen, to be coming into this and to have you as his mom, this beautiful and famous actress. How does he deal with that?
Marg: You know what? I donāt know if it affects him that much. I mean, Iām sure it does, but he wouldnāt let on to me.
Tony: It probably says something about you too. I always think that itās how you come across. You set the example for the kids. In other words, if you come in with your make-up artist, then I think he treats you a little differently.
Marg: Yeah. No, Iām just a mother of a teenage boy to him. And the house actually is always filled with a lot of his friends, which is, I love that, even though it can get smelly and messy from time to time. But I love the energy of these boys.
Tony: Itās nice to have the house where they come to. That says something to you as well.
Marg: Yeah, the cool house.
Tony: You just got back from a vacation, am I right?
Marg: Yes, we went to Europe in the summer. We were in Paris and Positano.
Tony: Oh, I love Positano.
Marg: Isnāt it sweet?
Tony: Oh, itās unbelievable.
Marg: Itās so charming.
Tony: I love it so much. And I havenāt been to Paris. I have to go to France. Emmyā¦
Marg: Oh, you havenāt?
Tony: My little Emmy wants to go to Paris. Sheās been saying, āI must go to Paris.ā
Marg: āI must go to Paris.ā
Tony: I swear, I must. Iām not kidding, I must. Do you run into fans of the show? Do you find out which countries youāre in?
Marg: The show is a global hit. Itās kind of shocking when you do travel places you donāt quite expect the fans to be approaching you. But in Paris it was, well Positano, too. But in Paris because itās a big city and youāre wandering, youāre walking everywhere. I couldnāt believe it. I mean I walked down the street where thereās this sidewalk cafĆ© and people would say, āCatherine, ca va?ā because thatās my characterās name and this and that. But I have to say an embarrassing moment was one time when I thought it was another cell phone picture or camera, somebody approaching me wanting their picture and I was all ready to do it. Instead they wanted me to hold the camera and take their picture. It was pretty humbling, I must say, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Tony: Reminds me of when I was in Italy and really nobody recognized me except a bus loadā¦
Marg: They didnāt?
Tony: a bus load of Filipinos. Evidently the showās big in the Philippines.
Tony: Anyway, donāt go away because after this break, weāre going to create a brand new sandwich in honor of Marg, called the Marg Helgenberger. Get it? Stick around, weāll be right back.
(Commercial Break)
(When the show returns Tony and Marg are in the studio ākitchenā )
Tony: Weāre back with CSI star Marg Helgenberger, and obviously, she even makes the hat look good. Mine looks great though. I look like a Q-Tip.
Marg: Mine looks flaccid, and yours does not.
Tony: Donāt say flaccid around me. Does your thing say āKiss the Chefā? (Tony gives Marg a quick kiss) Oh Baby! Alan, Iām sorry!
Tony: Because Marg is here, weāre trying to come up with a special sandwich in her honor called the Marg Helgenberger. Get it? So we have two stations. Each one of us will make our own version of the Helgenberger. And I think height counts. We have veggie burgers, chicken burgers and, of course, the old meat. You know veggie, not veggie. Iām not a veggie guy. Get out of here. Get out! (Tony flings the veggie burger across the room) For those of you out there who are vegetarians, Iām only kidding around.
So you ready, Marg?
Marg: I am. Look Iāve started. They didnāt provide us with a paring knife. Props!
Tony; Oh, here it is. Iām going to go with beef.
Marg: Iām going to go with beef too. Iām from Nebraska. I worked in a meat packing house.
(Marg and Tony make their burgers and have some idle chit chat)
Tony: We do need a little tomato.
Marg: Oh, this is a funky bun.
Tony: A little roasted pepper, a little hot Italian ham. Oh olives, some black olives. We have to have some red onions.
Marg: That is a heartburn special.
Tony: By the way, did you say that you worked in a meat packing plant?
Marg: Yeah, you heard me correctly. Back in Nebraska, I worked in a packing house.
Tony: What was your job?
Marg: I did a bunch of things. I was in the āBreak & Fabā – breaking the meat down and fabricating it. I would trim fat off tenderloins. It was gnarly. It was a tough job to get. Because my dad was a meat inspector I had an āinā.
Tony: Nepotism always works.
Marg: Doesnāt it though? It helped finance my college education.
Tony: A little carbonara here.
Marg: Iām going to put a little chili on mine.
Tony: Oh, I just happen to have a fried egg. Some pickles and canāt forget the grilled peppers.
Marg: So height, thatās the criteria?
Tony: No, I think taste is the criteria, but height is going to count for something.
Marg: Is there a prize for this or something?
(Tony and Marg compare burgers)
Tony: What do you have on yours?
Marg: I have onion rings and tomatoes and lettuce, carrots, chili, goat cheese.
Tony: Do you have mustard on that too?
Marg: Mustard and mayo. I mixed it up together.
Tony: CSI, Thursday nights on CBS. Marg, thank you so much.